it's haggard trolling along bag of pieces falling off, legs binded hemp dirty hemp leaves no marijuana just rotary ropes farm boy city nothing

5:50 pm

Ah we all .. out there .. run into .. oh we don’t feel too good .. clash with someone they just so happen not feel so good, or almost clash, or is averted, or started, almost started .. people .. we all in big shopping centres, march maneuver like carts in department stores don’t acknowledge another face you just stand there, no this wasn’t it, but ultra-every travels, so please don’t think my writing about meditation is super indicative of super calm.

It isn’t.

With some people it is, all these great methods deep into meditation area where things work out.

They don’t always work out.

Sorry.

In reality.

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Oh, you go there a little.  With this.

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But society’s mind, nibbling chattering cubicles on a face opening oozing slap it, it splatters on the wall, produces more your hand just slid off all the slipperiness, doesn’t even hurt it, you threw your hand out, it laughs, society taints all goodness./ there’s a good depressing note on December 30^th, ha we all smile crackcheeseippe, we all sip relate cheapeasy, the latest “thing wiggit you can’t stand wing it go through as best jitters provide” “stand it” stand up poke through soil bloom, wilt walk away old flower we all turn out to be are – we thought we were cheerful with absolutelcreepy yeak kiss everyone – we don’t we aren’t.

Just get used, just get chosen what is the diff dolit to it.

Turn out song weeber couch sit sag stay withBut it is indeed pleasurable when society helps your good time meditation solid reliable you there don’t hurt me-ness./ I won’t no me of us half this type do see we ah get the partially are working on cheerful answers to society’s complex questions that hold up weather the storm

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/endf’ snippet/ 6 pm

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Paintings like to see my eyes poke around in them

Great god better suggestion than my life, anyone’s life – buy a painting, even metaphorically, ah buy yourself walking up there in the wall a pocket carved out in the wall back there

Someone somewhere a person have a calm reassuring face and answers

Don’t dare say that to me

I’d slap you down quick, you fake, /Anyone would say in our dare to slump world

Collaborate on apathy drag up to the table have a tea with me

please

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Ah to even be one that can survive be weird be expressive part artist with oink fake fur galoshed mud whopimdripping weirdreadjellfiducking weeyrd spell just enough off now get back to street driving straight hug me dependable boy don’t let him in her he is really bad news he updates every day/ erk?/ in they take it, right from ihim/ whizbang keyboard fingers, people need to see me, no one I appear toss right salad as, no one anyone yin-yang yonder appears as, balance, we don’t say, the inner imbalance so/ “but he sells paintings fur a million tossed flock goo dollars” you mean? but anyone i say anyone carry some say it through, lost word chute lush hype of plain say the things none of us sazy that can’t be said, crazy say and don’t be weird

Just be comforting take a bold leap and be comtorting, comforting, contorting in your slam bad oh comforting try just finger softly in air calming

Say any impossible conductor ice age garage to now peep drive home any of this, to where, each of us looking, ironic in our slander of love, each of us looking, for love

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Ah we look for someone shift words come out mouth be driving words

Shift lever

Brakes

Be driving words

I try in big books I lay thread around world thin thread can't walk find it see it

It’s funny you look at this oh get your bearings “weird art” “can’t sell” “don’t want to sniff that stinkiness” “I guess what people have inside” “we say we’re all used to it by now” but we’re not .. ah, look at this, carry a gun, come close to my art, carry a gun no, ha ha, not so funny, but we just feel “unsafe” a world needs to look at things “I don’t wanna look at your other than human inhuman inside weirdo fucking weirdo I do really, I’m tired, it’s been a hard day.  Peep at this, jaw set to the wrong side.  Okay.  Brave.  Windshield wipers over eyes.  Okay.

The meaning of small talk is appearing to be honest at it.

Okay.

Not so bad, weird symbols, weird misspellings .. I grind my jaw in free space open like an elephant, look at this.  It just seems a crowd is talking, like talking more than smooth perfectly spelled sentences, I know you want to look like that, almost grab someone/ tell me the truth, or mess it up abstract painting you talk like that fucker/ ah I’m sad can you see me crying, scratched here in wall of National Gallery come look patron.

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/ - - - - -/ 

Ah so well look at this

We’re all sort of in life see a big book streets stretching as far as peripheral vision straighton vision woman walking, boy walking, winter coats dust snow drapes from sky

What?

Push car through them, under them.

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So here’s a little writing from today, yeah, earlier, offline.

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8:05 pm

Humans are professionals at say they don’t need this, they look at me with curiosity “want to help me” “I want to help them too” they desperately need help but are very professional about saying they don’t

They appear to be ahead of me but I am hallway ahead of them, it hovers hallway just above just to the side in the air not defined they look at me solid don’t think much of me but I float, they sometimes see

If I can ever do it in life

I do it here in writi8g fur now

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/endf’ snippet/ 8:10 pm

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Mistakes yeah leave in there so here I’m halfway online offline ah can’t write directly on the blog, feels funny I go to another file, transfer it oh none of us talk directly in life can’t even talk

I do okay, I hold a conversation

Ah would rather not insert all my book learning or writing meditation plans no plans to talk as this in l;ife

Whoops you made a spelling mistake there, Eric

Yeah I always do

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//

Ever say the impossible to say get your location in the hologram projected bodies by a creature we used to call it God don’t want to call it now, how to even survive that, meditate for hours and hours to break through ego and head and hands and toes, just float or make a prayer being, spirit being, this is serious stuff, been at it 15 years now, and a strange life before that – but exit – come back, make your way through – humans don’t know what to do – belief, ah cat scrabble, they cheat, has ha, I saw its paw move! But seriously

Nom,, there’s no serious;t

To do anything

I don't know willywhoopee small drawings lines mind

Oh this drawing notice some of it is printed out letters such a boon computers and fonts and all straight or they can be oh our crooked little minds or my mind is more like this thank you

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So also, here’s a little bit from earlier today.

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5:45 pm

It’s a very strange world, so many people in the news in websites have a photo have a artwork have a heart “someone look” I guess we have something on display a tunnel through us not a missile hole violent just if you could lead someone through never can

I so much enjoy peoples artwork though, all the stuff, all the things, but I am also so glad I do meditation

Hardcore, disciplined, go places

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In that hole or laundry chute or benches along the way

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/endf’ snippet/ 5:50 pm