untreatable illness and world can't see its illness

have you threw your hands up in the air then say it a different way / in stress / you are right in the stress / you can't say it a different way / all the magic of the world / terse practical / people kind of willow spring birch oak jack pine wander with me walk in park / can I say these words / want things to run smoothly, they don't, who's a friend, be there, down dark corridors

what did I just say there

nothing

as are you cogent, have your wits about you, that way

ever worst practice worst workout

ha - what's this picture? - just me feeling of expired best before dates on gum packages, were under mess of piles of paper on kitchen counter

that's how world lives, extract us, be food, a healthy meal, not gum / where I live

in mind low achieve "advice from me" we all sit glum no office to wait in, ever

no worst practice, no worst workout, at home mind bothered fried latest earth pushed to the edge, not from drugs .. just not well .. peace .. in chi kung meditation .. still not well all the time .. cutting the lawn, on a hot day, ah, stress, even though take a natural remedy for allergies to cut grass .. but feel a little "crazed of rush bothered traffic in all continents cities" get through it, no interruptions, do it .. the lawn of books no grow our sense be a little over the top exhausted stunned
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where pages I do with no lawnmower, ha

grow quiet

I need you like that

so a day/ where book of that, I'm no hero/ of books no written pandemic years after years through exist a kindness strangers don't see to each other .. further .. I would like a world like that .. we are better people no sucks as be beastly insult .. see powers of to see .. lawn that isn't growing like mad, and is a book .. tend to .. oscillate in and out, find the murk .. database .. eyes .. of trust modern just be some "no, I ever don't jump have the no great thing to say here during that"

I don't here .. and here

be nice to each other, for precious little writing, you can't hear - time .. to hear .. senses .. of sad, have time, ever something - not beat up yourself - ever wait, for senses to kick in, of this

I am here

writing, a room, quite a mess, or reflecting life on earth .. I don't shit on the floor, I don't have pets, stink of urine, no .. but I am a mess .. writing this .. calm of 3 hours 4 hours meditation

living, breathing, other creature

not romantic comedy, not porn - life does something different this time

be real - tired - no one ever made that more than a buzzword

credit cards, or gift cards, don't have a credit card / for real, buy materials, give up .. some word, plastered on my face "charge card" best words, transcendent / .. occasionally I buy something from the internet .. these cards here are from years .. what do they really mean, this context .. as tired grinning face is not me cartoon sad

what did you catch there, it goes by

sick, and catch clear sane a little bit extra to these days

what did you do today, read this, for no one in your life says this - not in mine either - but this is peculiar tired of art tired of book

it is this/ no bubble of protect city plexiglas nothing we are read in safe
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what do I buy? oh sometimes "pre-workout booster" a vegan type, it's on sale, sometimes during the year .. save quite a bit .. order a few bottles .. I don't buy much .. luckily I've avoided "trying to be happy" "by going above my means" .. read in safe .. ever protect best words insane a bit not edited by company

I meditate

publish here, into life

as in here/ was never a here, trustable fort pleasure clearing deep love in no concrete rings left with notes in plastic bags forest
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what am I like to live with? oh, I haven't had a girlfriend in a few years "how do I communicate" I got sad, just the sex, paying attention to sex/ when would I get some, don't say that .. instead ventured to this, to get this /, but not really/ so easy/ alive / as of course from grow up see linger for what words never said no world we know child discuss in language used /sigh-brr-cold beings - have house, buy things, as grow to be mature

I needed/ some nice people may have hinted "why life" I heard .. this

as a little here
-
you know? / we are family of doubts wishes practical as this, got it / farther, of minds / and don't call me minds superdozeandwakecomputer / can't do in person - we never do
-
as life hints world communication as this fumble crushed hope save words for later crushed lunch bun not too bad

"no, I can't say that" as brat-easy youme of kindness like floppy no dog to walk, big dog - of no thought, no thought known to run free get leaps earth .. produces little smiling faces - no known technological update - it's just not that / as earth confided it wanted something big from its thought

we mess mosey along - content not to do it the same - not feeling we're lacking - or weak on that thought - ha - building
-
we love like and lose time of "world efferkaput" strain and anxiety, sometimes we lie in bed and bundle up - but we are no better
-
as worse "can't stand it" many days

oh, some better, earth is warmth of blankets, cuddle, talk to yourself in brazen is night and day not show-off with yourself look at pure no intelligent language

long wear-in meditation course of words walk to work here time real life, very bad bumps, survive as mind no-call mind was real in pain

me letter long letter too much of this style as reach kaput wires hold as not live wires hands no schemata dream language of better shh-sigh-brr-product

think tank fall say made toy call pandemic-awkward toys of us speak better than producers we lacked job as that, sad we are barely toys sick-attached to humans bettered as education fling full no ever want stinking hard times toy, speak new as never call me advanced taxes hurt me being of not construct awkward be this on the way this page streets lonely out world no-find corner ogle internet for minumu flow-away mind bird playtoy is nature of my mind can't do a thing

finds flight here leaps from small box hold my weight of invisible try this space as commuter computer line afforded