Did an exercise session tonight, it took me about 2 hours 21 minutes, I did the full warmups, full joint drills, then no strength exercise tonight, and just did all-body stretches then .. very hard to get to it initially, I was feeling depressed, despondent, ah, the world, being out in the world, I feel it you know, a very teetering mess, who’s loved, who’s left to die, so I eventually got to the exercise when it became a prayer “for all those in a cell” a literal cell, in prison, also just feeling “enclosed” “no way out”
So very interesting the way that gets me going, then I am able to engage, I start seeing the little prayer being, and her speaking the floating words, which become a being in themselves, the eotu, from the edge of the universe, can then live here, have a little place .. it is interesting “because I am matter” “we are all matter” and we are often in pain and confused within that matter, it is interesting including the outside of it too, if you can reach there, “in your wall to wall pain” if you can reach there. Strange, to find these friends, in this despair, and work it, be able to be seen “as a life happening” “they agree, they will work with it” “this is matter made, shaped, this is how it extends, goes farther” “is not just ‘no matter’ ‘nothing’ ‘no time’ ‘up, down’ ‘wide, thin’ all these things, they watch curiously, they are not actually ‘nothing’ but we are so caught in our ‘only our life matters, only our life ‘is there’” so it’s quite a challenge, to sit with depression, then decide on this, work it into this. Quite a challenge. Instead of just dying with it. All of us. So yes, the eotu, can you feel him, not of matter – from meditation, can you feel him, his quantity, over the years you have studied meditation, is he alive, if you are alive, work this process, a painful, disturbed life, work it, don’t just succumb to it, work this process. It knows what to be, it is a god as far as a low-key god, practical, in the story, the human joining in on seeing it – the prayer being and the eotu are little artists, they do good art, as I strain, but not too much, in exercise, keep it even, “have the moment” “of their love” know when I can have confidence, in exercise, push, not injure my old body, with their love, little artists, see me working the pain, the ordinary human life, millions of us with pain, they come alive, as I see them too, if I can see them too.
And talk them.
Like I am talking them here.
It is a strange kind of energy.
Sharing this among us.
A consciousness that we don’t have right now./ that we talk these strange beings, as we exist in matter, but agree “something not of matter made us” now bring it down to earth, this way./ if you can, if you can survive talking this way, don’t panic, don’t collapse. Know the ins and outs of having a paragraph to give in this, start with that, that’s an incredible amount, to form it, any of this./ just look, if you can catch a glimpse of the words floating in the air, let them see, say nothing, someone skilled in this consciousness, you as a watching human being, open to it, offer incredible support, to these beings just getting their bearings.
Of course, I too have to go out in the world, then this is dashed, of course, hee-hee/ I’m certainly not naïve.
As it forms.
This steady pace, then nothing,. Then forms a little again. Then nothing lots of mpthiong, sweaty be jangled ion your berain As on it goes.
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/endf’ snippet/ 12:10 am
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