
odd picture, like our inside, odd, at peace, right here, no pressure, no views, odd little creature wilderness of internet, trees and bushes, it can be like that, peace ..
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so here is a little more writing, from yesterday, from today, this massive book, over 7, 8 years, through breakdowns, through bligownss/ whst is thst word, bliss> giwns? blig, through romance, through nothing did happen so after all, just peace sometimes and soppul, the in way stop kite in ribcage light
we all need odd images don't want no fancy ass author telling us anything ..
We want to relax, internet turned to nature.
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"
Oh, selling this book, bevelling this book, chamfered edges, I really don’t know, mouldings, around tops of walls, who knows, changes in humanity, occasionally we get excited “think something is really going through” but mostly, ah, you get tired of it, don’t want to hear any more about it, oh, the news reports, who’s to believe, this accounting fraud, then the other side says they’ve been sent into poverty, nobody knows the truth, there’s just posturing, I don’t know how to get to the truth. You just turn it off.
And live your life.
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Turn off the TV, today’s news, like yesterday’s news, the future’s news. A noose around our neck. No changes.
We feel we have possibilities, within the matrix, when it may have been set up for the reasons of producing patterns, and we can’t accept that “what a ridiculous statement, we are humans, we are important just as we are! We will work this out!” oh, it gets tiresome, generation after generation digging us deeper into this hole, they grow up, there are shouts “the youth will find the way” but they never do .. we are too centered on our ourselves, when in fact we may be a preliminary being, and this next being I talk of is not flesh at all, it may be words floating in the air, by talk, leaving the human, to float in the air. Stop, depending on your devotion to quiet, to tamping down your ego, even eliminating it “all for the human” “everything for the human” (to sit with the ego, blustering, pompous, sit with it, as it screams and frets, is angry and recalcitrant, will not be moved, will not be altered, make friends with it, in the end, and quiet it down, communicate to it that it leads to the next being, and it will stay, to quietly lead us all into the next being, the ego having a purpose, other than being just horrid.) it is indeed a rest to get away from that, but it is very hard to do that. / the ego is completely out of control, to offer it this great fruit “just up ahead of you, with your help, is a greater life for us all” it needed something, to calm down. Something not on earth, not in the human’s scope. It had nothing “I should have something!” nothing could be talked about, nothing could be described, there seemed to be nothing there. It seemed that way.
Such drive, the human has. Now let us focus it into this.
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Why is this important, impossible to say, like a million words still can’t say it, reflecting our entire history.
Move words, I find this silly, I picture them in the air in front of me floating, I find this silly.
It has no link to me, I don’t know why I am thinking of it at all.
It has no link to me. In the matrix./ here, in our physical presence, but in my mind, and back farther in me ..
But I must never say this. It is silly.
Or is it? Humans stuck in a bubble, making bad patterns, that are read by something ..? Are they ..? /we cannot see it! Eric, we cannot see it! Cannot do the meditation! Cannot do the hard work! We work in the world. We do hard work there. And it is not changing. We can’t work in ourselves. Inner work. We just can’t. It is too scary, too rough, as if to see the truth, we can stay comfy in denial, or be raped beaten killed in changes sitting on a meditation cushion, going through it, the worst possible outcome, for (actually changing for real. How we look at each other. How we address each other. The tone. Not leering, opportunistic. But soft, kind, for real. Be raped beaten lain over the coals in meditation for this. Can you do it?) change we must sit close our eyes breathe know how to do this not every session is bad or cleansing no farce no fake, doing the real thing lonely isolated no show doing the real thing for each of us.
/and reading this book, seeing gentle beginnings, add to, each page, each location, add to, grow, a world. With this “add-on” that the huge ego could not see, pompous conceited ego could not see – see it.
Be this popular, be this take you there./ this silly little book, parts, snippings, thrown on road, pick up, value, invest, unseen building, something so far away, can’t get here, in a blur inside, inside each of us .. can’t afford this, in each day, part of our day, no one can find a way, we notice, work on, as well as live this world. No one can find a way.
Produce/ wade in, dry where are youst fiuelkds, long grasss, hsy,m anything, walk rhrough, nit get tick, nit grt ,yme dtsease, or anything, walk in deep words, diseased hated not listen to sunny dsy, dryness, bit productioning this./ somrehow
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/endf’ snippet/ 10:45 pm
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Wear in over thousands of years, or mere peeps, or sketches of a “word” a “letter” sounds, look in eye, tell me something, awe .. where are we, humans, this point, cannot step off into a solving grace, a saving grace .. little words, in all the power in men’s loins, and men’s muscular arms, and women’s hearts, and loins too, and sex and lust, and love, for both of us, and power, giving way to this, stepping aside, recanting, retracting “I will not do that that way” “not anymore” I will try now, words, float, give me hints, give me tasty hints, how I can live, feel this, purity, great wellbeing, more powerful than a lying heroin, or anything, man produces, in all his trickery, trying to emulate “this!” THIS!
Oh wow is it really that good? /yes really in meditation can’t concentrate can’t find it, just a little, each time, but it is precious./ cam you too, ion this book, fund oy ytails, false hallways, biut we thought it was real! We all do.
Dind a way, bypass the crap, or kjist livig, our ego, our physical body, can we find true sense, true depth, flow of words, reader, can they pastwllel/ parallel, my sesrch, in meditstion?
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/endf’ snippet/ 11 pm
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Saturday, January 12, 2013 10:25 am
So this morning dad was calling to me from the bathroom, oh he had wet himself a bit, was trying to change, had got most of the way, oh to stay calm, loving, take it in stride, I did think of meditation during it, how if you don’t carry it out in the life you live, then it’s all cancelled – you cannot meditate and be a “pretty boy” then be a “monstrous ogre” to people .. and life goes on .. so I’ve done 25 minutes magnification so far, over there, had to lie down on my side a bit, was tired, life .. last night, close to 2 a.m., go to bed, I seem to like, staying up late, seeing the talk shows on TV, oh the acerbic wit, right? a bit cranky? but loveable? anyways, they’re trying to deal with life too, right? – it goes on, like in New York City, all the troubles, oh, the legacy, those buildings blown up, the airplanes into them, the catastrophic loss of life .. /and then you have talk shows, “try to offer some ‘gentle spin on it’ ‘years later’ or make fun of the attackers .. or don’t know what to do really/ you carry on .. comedy was always meant .. get people away from their troubles .. who deals with anything .. and last night, coaching my dad on brushing his teeth, you know, you have to do it right, you can’t just put a blob of toothpaste on a toothbrush, have him stick it in his mouth, turn the other way, go watch TV for 5 minutes, come back, “okay, you done?” so, life, like this book, gently, repetitive, in the sense of every day, do some more, rub away “at this impossible-to-communicate-stuff” we do get somewhere, but it’s as if “just do it once, one day of the year, an hour, 15 minutes, 5 minutes? then it’s taken care of ‘forever?’” / oh so it is, no, a proper job, you sit down each day, oh, the population gets it, how this other area is outside “of all human knowledge” “will always be” “is actually another creature” “that we are” all this world put on / on top of it, while it turns away, we keep going, it leaves us here, cannot affect us, or leaves us to it, human life, details, of wanting, yearning, not perfect, as it is perfect, no yearning, just glowing (how can something like that make us, there’s no person “running a costume” “of the glowing bit” “it is the glowing bit” / oh, so you are .. we always thought, it was just “more people” it’s hard to realistically ajudge this, or/ wha/ you mean some glowing bit stands there, not glowing like our depictions, or capability, not here, not of this earth “you don’t want to know” “put it off” “another year” “10 years” but in meditation you face it, walk into it, bravery .. as well as accommodate this world “back here” and welcome this “glowing bit” to make a strange invisible prayer being, make strange invisible floating words, contact the strange invisible lost energy of the nameless, feel better, having grown these new senses over 12 years in meditation, or could it be you’re just crazy? Ha ha, oh, gradually, all the roadblocks, mind blocks, body blocks/ ah, will we ever get there, poor world, needing to carry out “the good/bad engine” live in that, carry out, making the patterns we do not see, that the nameless reads, floats there, for the prayer being to speak floating words, next to it, into it, to create, join .. well yeah .. and the population does not see they are doing this .. well, yeah .. oh, I don’t know if I like knowing the mechanicals, instead of just saying “I worship God, worship Jesus” they know what they’re doing, it’s beyond me, my pea brain on earth .. very strange to “oh gawd, do I have to do all this work?” to see this? ../ oh, to still believe in something, but maybe I was comfortable just believing it, never seeing it, the ultimate in sloth, I’ll just keep reading religious texts, the bible, whatever it is, whatever higher power you worship .. oh, life .. or the mechanicals, actually doing the work, like this whole book .. oh, worship is work, studying “the Word” “and so the word was made into flesh ..”/ and so forth/ I really never wanted to carry it into this/ ((was the word ever really made into flesh, or further “so the word was made into flesh, and then what/ what was the word made into then, coming out the human mouth?)) ah, is not getting an inkling of it in the old ways ../ ah, we all knew/ we needed this/ but can’t someone else do it?/ ha ha I feel like that/ oh, the common version, down to earth version, not just see it, as human imprinting on “nothing we will ever understand” not just put the “2 arms 2 legs culture on it” ah, we wanted to know, maybe not this far, out of our bubble ((did we really want to go further ‘than God made us, now we’re created, we live here, make TV’s, make highly accurate screens for all kinds of devices, it’s like you’re just looking out a window, it’s so clear .. and as to God, creation, now our lives, now what’s next, we kind of forego that, don’t know at all, don’t know anything .. our creation, material objects, we’re pretty amazed, like that big technology show in Las Vegas, I think it’s still going on right now .. oh, life ../. “we create” “we make a mess” in the good/bad engine, in the factory of bad patterns, something reads that, but we don’t see that .. how could anybody .. it takes at least 10 years in meditation to wear it in, and further .. to feel it, gather it from in your mind, it is part of your mind now, you can think like it .. it takes at least 10 years, 12 years ..)), first with my “divorce from reality” “then working meditation in” to calm what I was seeing, or respect (it, have anything to it at all, in me, to not turn away from it, hate it, because it was not like humans) I was not in reality, well, where am I then? People on earth just say “you’re nowhere, there’s nothing there” but slowly I work this, from inside man’s bubble, sort of, I tell you, show you, give it to you, in your language, sort of – we get by ../ the words float, can be said/and sometimes in m.t.’s, little sewn things, cast resin, combined, little cards, trading cards/ or bigger than that a little/ oh, or highly detailed hamndmsde lines links numbers ..))), no details, no “set up life, try to make progress, move” no, it does not do that, stares curiously at us “do I really need to be like anything to do with you at all?” a taste, come in.
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/endf’ snippet/ 11:10 am
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So, did a little more magnification over there, oh, life, to step into this book at any spot, read the words out to each other, the floating words, try to grasp them, wear it in “wear you in from here” do you take video records, written records, drawings, art, media, even care, grasp this whole concept, idiillea, nithig, no toy fir humsns, sorry, or do we have something here, to toss around, squeeze, hear me squeal “ouch!” I say “that’s downright nasty! Leave me alone!” so it goes, work on this, roll it around, the universal mioond, universal insude, in suede?oh universal cinsciousdness sin sinnamoin fluffy muffin, ha um well is this thst, it’s toio real, it’s actually happening, Il;m niot as giy in a robe doing it/ allhos bewonkers .. amd so it is .. gish .. actually do the durty commin sfvertusdig mionery-advergrsbbibg safe pulled clkean thig .. does it sacyually hsve thst last psrt, any begimn write saint yes “no/sad” .. so it goes ../ to touch on human wants, secular, religious, neither, just move on into this, so tired .. what is the glow, of belief, of strangeness, of private prayers, of anything, into this ..
Hungry, to know about this. More amd more, make it our lives, not drunk, no needle stuck in our arm, and not pounding in, our belief, our section of it, is the only one, killing all others, religious wars, just to fight, just ti bedimb, nithig tio put it into, next ..
But this ..
Be binterested in this, so tired, lasnguishig in our bug screen Tv, yet another movie to put on, don’t care, have a real religious crisis, or not even that, tired of that too, just want to be cleaned right out “and see what I think then!” / religious things were supposed to be the pinnacle, no higher “the word of god” they made us believe, or forced us, or cut off our heads/ ah what do you do simmer summer, look at girls in bikinis ah naked free or very little on, run into the water in the sunshine ..
Summer, waste away the time, need some times like that, and this, oh, put it aside, don’t know what to think, sure not going to make trouble, be followed by the police “as some radical or something” and be followed by a stripper, just wanted hugs, and more, faith, no church, no God, just faith, flesh ..
All this is true, the police, the stripper, and the good girl in the park too, that I don’t recognize, because I had a breakdown (and I guess she got advice “just let him come out of it naturally” and I never did, well, the pressures, police, following, tapped, I sort of came out of it, sort of fyfmlt/ disn’t , some parts healed, some not/ oh life “let him come out of it naturally, you will damage him if you force it, tell him everything, expose yourself, demand he ‘heal quickly’ take your time, Shae) .. all is true .. book winds on, never did wrap it up “with all them” well not the police I’m not going to show up “knock on their door” ask them to explain .. no .. life .. and with the people, the dancer girl, / and/the good girl, she runs, is quite an accomplished athlete, runs, sometimes on the bike path in the psrk/ oh, poor girl I don’t know how it all happened, she at one time was reading this, it was passed on, oh many details “are you sure you’re not crazy eryc just making this up out oif loneiness” yeah psrt of it is out of loneliness/ looniness? *smile*, noit thise fscts, (do I make up out of loneliness, want a semse of impirtsamcs to me? .. ah .. it’s better to just endure, stretch it out, not be known, just work slowly ..) but just the whole thing, being alone, writing this, wanting ti be hesrd, like all of us, wondering where to go next, after belief and materialism and you don’t want to make trouble, stand out, you just watch TV, turn it off, bounce the remote control in your hand a bit, put it down, by your side, just sit, quiet house, no phone ringing, sit “contemplate your navel” ha ha .. /never go this far .. yeah, I have those moments, like last night, watching late night talk show TV (but putting in this work, no I don’t go to coffeeshops, flap my jaws, find a place “radicals and thinkers meet” no this is just all off on my own, hardest thing to do, do the work, not go to a bar “be seen as important” ah, lonely work, good work, have doubts, pain, get through, sometimes .. ah, that people never saw me each day, the matrix colouring, instead they tapped this, and I gave it to them, with some misgivings, but communication in human land is pretty low, we want to think it’s really good, /it’s deceptive .. ah, all an illusion, we talk at all, can meet on this .. /so tapped it was, strange words, in a trance, meditation, sickness, soldiering through, opened up to higher intelligence, but dying ..), you just let everything go, watch some funny jokes, wish it was all true, life never had any sadness at all (watch late-night TV), you were just entertained, out of it .. (we wish it would all happen like that watch late night TV, or time shift it, or get key funny bits live life get sleep go to job it “seems” you’re part of everything cooking, flowing, you really have your head in the sand though, but “life is very biudy”/ busy, like a “:drinlk” of judt folloiewig in line, nior alcohol, nit some weed, just tired, lost, but perky, take some csffeine, hs ha, what do we know, ah whst doi we kniow) .. dont want ti stop, hsve a breakdown, kike Ertyc, fycking Eryuc.
Yes me spelled right some of it, get the wiggly red lines underneath copy this to a word program mumble it, have parties we pick a page mumble it try to talk, add in our matrix talk on it we in a bubble working, sleeping, having kids, don’t stop long enough to break down don’t want to, ha ha, do a “proper breakdown” with writing skills, police following you, stripper following you, good girl following you, none want to talk to you directly about the book, none.
So it goes, hidden media, loved media, much loved.
He is actually alive, in some way, and so are we.
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/endf’ snippet/ 12:10 pm
- - -so that's some more for today then, Eric here, back on the blog, the bog, oh swamp dry lawn above ground a hill, makes me think of floods, catastrophes, the weather on earth, what are we, why is this going on, but just have to live, like with frontend loaders and sandbags and volunteers protecting your home, no it didn't happen to me, but you see it on the news, you wonder we just try to live .. /and there's terrorists and plots and that whole fight .. and you just try to live .. /who has time for an airy-fairy book like this, I mean really .. we don't want a damn fyuckig stiod/stupid book, we just want ti be alone, be quet/quiet. it's okasy if some of it isn't spelled right lots of nature "isnt spelled rught either" settle here, human, settle in here. Clear a little, for you. Guddke./huddke/huddle .. some is nit spelled right, look .. sit .. pull up a chair look at nature did you do your day's work, look loose morals no please don't don't piss on me ah nature off to the side hold my urine or walk in these cities stairwells where are we something "other to life than the other" anything mentionable thinkable at wit's end nature, a new type of nature, seeking a few chairs in that
like in here. this presentation.
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