it reads "Hallowed-hey-diddy-hee. Hallowed-hey-diddy-hee. Is anything serious enough to stop anybody? Ha ha ha. -- Good warm feelings. Foreign people, different language, people here, everybody has a different language, from everybody else. We're all individual gadgets. Mana's none normal, hernal or mall manna noney girl minimal normal;" say whst say sagain cleasr upo, was it really that at the end/ everybody work it out jogging on it .. oh, my book, copy into a foot word program see wiggly red lines under some heat "mistakes" all of us are wrong just "seekig outside of where we live no you're not wrong speak "its" language/ on this planet" show me how it appears here, floats i see it nanuopulation og wordssay them somethig whiffaelse, how do you do it, logisdh poo book, enter at many spots, fall no set up tent make a above reproachearnesthomestead make a darncabin make a house knitting in my writing. /see this as threads wook hook in a lkittle knit somethig on it it's iokay ..
so, here's some writing, follows up from day before ..
the book I;m writig, oddlibe .. oh life
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Oh went out, out on the road, oh long trip no no, just this city just locally what of it go anywhere, where is man and woman going, we say we’re alive, I don’t know, stay safe in your car, hope it doesn’t break down, who will stop to help, is anyone human, get your family, your little unit “joke there” “love there” then everywhere, money matters, you’re safe if you have money, what are we really living, what did we invent, is this good enough, do we have to go so deep, where we are projected, and we can feel the other thing thinking ..
Is that just crazy?
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Want to develop there, feel that, see that, because we’re not really living. Even in our families, do we share art, movies, do we name a favourite book, but what are we with each other, is this media good enough, for us? What risk is there in “I money earth” “floating words” “the nameless” dare to have depth, not in art? – is this dangerous? why are you doing this?
Life, like Shae, girl from the park, does she think this weird “you can’t do this, Eric, it’s not normal, it’s taken care of, every question I have, art is seamless, with humans, we are art, aren’t we? what are you going on here about? I don’t want to know desolation, I’m just young, let me find out 20 years, or I already know now .. no one talks an extension to a line in a movie, no one talks an extension to a line in a book, I’m not even sure anyone is talking about anything at all, and movies, books, aren’t even – I get a terrible dread when I realize nothing is talking about anything at all. What are we? Was it so good for a while, these shells, puppets, apparitions, the tension between “human developing” and “human nothing at all” we were so much in art, it seemed to be bountiful, beautiful, seemed to ask the hard questions, ask everything, we could not do it, to stay less than perfect and make bad patterns, art was good enough, family expressed in art, community expressed in art .. we tried to live it, or were so lame, at least art took up the slack, it seemed to .. now why see all this, see this revealed?
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Art, you’re not good enough, you almost make a life for us, our entertainment, art, zone out, let time pass .. we don’t know what to say, talk to someone, can no longer be the art, let the art take over, I can’t try, I feel generations, gradually were to come to realize this .. how on earth does the art speak in our everyday life? Crossover, at this late time?
So this is life. Oh, this spot in the book, there was much development before this. Oh, find out that if you care. Why find it out for this book, if you don’t care about any books? Any of the ones, don’t say this. They exist mightily as books, still./ they puff out their chest, look around, for admirers.
Not this one, it is sad, sees humans, no art in them, even the artists, disappointing, feel misery tempting them, at all moments of the day. It’s no longer good enough, hook into system, for art, for buying and selling, it’s got too bad, we know now, that humans are nothing, can’t speak, can’t handle art, thinking, becoming anything remotely similar to plays movies TV, drawings, dance, there is nothing, what else do you have for me? – we look, turn, try to find someone to ask that question to.
/there is no one/Do you ask it here?/ come up to me, I panic a little, to voice this book, live this book, the floating words, the prayer beings, the Flame Roadier, who knows what’s been mentioned all through here, in 80,000 pages, in me?
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/endf’ snippet/ 6:10 pm
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So, I did a 1+1, took me 1 hour 11 minutes, oh I had done that magnification this morning, 2 hours 39 minutes, keeping it open, did some writing, some work, put things on the internet, the blog, oh, did some more “strict” magnification over there, in the spot, the area, oh then closed off completely, and waited at least a half hour, did some work, or polished up, I don’t know, hmm, but then you can eat, after a while, then I had a shower, then I went to pick up my things, oh, it was a pair of track pants, 40% off, but yeah, oh, I had ordered 4 pairs of long underwear with them, good heavy pairs, but they were on backorder, were supposed to be here the 5th, but now’s the 10th? So what’s up with that? But had them sent to the store, but then you have to go down there, it saves 3 dollars in postage, but then you’re driving the car, right, so there’s that cost, (maybe it’s 5 dollars in postage I don’t know) but I wanted to see what was in the store, “a warehouse sale” ah, nothing much, well, some things, not my size, like track pants, stretchy but loose, with some zippers on them, pockets, calves, oh, they had XL, I needed L, or M sometimes/ ah, they were all gone, life .. where do you go, get your “size” /so meditation, the other being, the perfect energy, wants to borrow some of our life, enough to get here, taste life “be here” but it doesn’t have a lot to do with “what the human is doing” his or her thoughts, oh, their game, or their honesty, or anything to do with their life, it is cautious, stays back, “oh human what do I share, what do you share” your life of aging disease death are you so bad all your patterns so bad let me read them, achieve some modicum of “perfect” “my true core” floating in the human realm, but not a human, do you feel me, don’t tell anybody, let me be quiet, you can speak floating words, ones that float in midair, stop, by the way you talk, don’t panic, that is the being I want, being I can be, touch on that nameless energy floating, that read you, combine with it, speak floating words, /oh you silly fool! Not many takers for that, our strange existence, not the art of our smile, handshake, hair, what we had for lunch, who we kiss, anything about us “our individual” “shape” “look in photo” who are you ../ I bypass that, float, or nothing at all, not yet, just let me be, human, you feel me, exist as life “a part of your life”? oh, borrow some key points, that is all, human .. we have no art, peripheral to us, what am I, enjoy floating, a new existence, for you, human, had nothing, for you, now you float, float words .. it is not quite art at all, now is it, it is behind that, at last, for you.
The poor sad human, wanting something for him or her behind their body, person, matrix being, whatever you coocall for it is .. niot thst interested, st certain points, and agiog, lose interest “whst am I’ “can contact nithiug else” so it’s work, and these notes for myself, there is much develpopmrmnt/ development wh bsck there, 80,000 psges, I feel thst .. oh, also this is esoteric, it’s hard to know exactly what the words refiflefer tio, real things happening, but not a golf game, or an art gallery opening, come along, skip along the street, have a popsicle or something, ah, play, whatever age .. never want to stop ask to stop wear out .. no, avoid the final wearing out, this new friend, back away from all things human, borrows your thoughts, feel of life, body image, borrows it a bit, adjusts it a lot shift that cupboard drag that display case ash ha ha bit ..
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/endf’ snippet/ 8 pm
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Friday, January 11, 2013 11:10 am
Oh, life, you try to get in the meditation, do it faithfully, I did 45 minutes of magnification this morning, then went straight into a 1+1 sit-down, so a total of 1 hour 56 minutes – oh, the time we put in, to make this time, for this, we feel it is very important .. oh, what comes to earth, what do we keep quiet, how does it enter our lives – it is not at all like anything here, we have never seen this, don’t know what to make of it, at all, very strange, is it too frightening for us?/ what are you, how can I look at you?/ we are here, we are this/ “All that man has crested, can even think of – come into that.”/ as the thing he and she cannot think of, cannot even conceive of, it is not here, not us, never will have anything to do with us ..
And yet it does.
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/endf’ snippet/ 11:20 am
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Oh life .. humans create what they can, think up, it is odd in meditation to wrap that up “all that has appeared, thought of, through the centuries/ religion, faith, worship, thought, groceries, gold, jewelry, sex, life, mmm” wrap it up, (science, faith, pants, wanting a feel a woman’s place zipper warmth we want some, and then, to meditate .. to wrap it all up, all human life, endeavor, do the thing nobody thinks of, but connects here, the words stopping in midair, instead of continuing to the ear, you still hear them, but what on earth is happening now?) (“I stop them there” he walks to them, touches them “they are there” he nudges them, they continue on, slower “what do you want us to do?” “oh hover, just be here a few seconds. I am no longer panicking, with your life.” The life of words, did our bidding for so long, were slaves, or captured, or whatever it was, now is this too strange, too unacceptable, they want to stop a little, rest, not forever do “our intention” “or so far” /they have intelligence, we know they do, we thought it was our intelligence, traveling, contained, in little pods, we don’t think of as that, little ships, very minute, little crafts, are they “metal, plastic, flesh, unknown?” thoughts, grey, pink, silver, unknown, other senses grown to accept them, as I have.” Is it all just crazy? Perhaps. This world, finished, in all that we do. Can a human connect to this, have this extra space in life? Is this viable?/ it’s kinky, eric, very crazy. We want to know, what they do, these words, how they feel, what they say. /you are seeing it here. Read this out, share, document, take little spaces, they float, you are scared, you panic, enlarge this book, connect it to life. They are coming./ is that scary? Or nutty? / more nutty than scary/ ha ha, we can see these, it is not the nightmares, weird “I can’t even think what that was I just saw!” we perhaps can handle this. ((it gets to our ended world, human endeavor in a pocket, killing it all/ (our earth is going downhill, we don’t know what to do, it is the good/bad engine, not specifically “just do good, more people do good) the good/bad engine, bad swallowing all the good, a fuel, to just make bad patterns, that are then read by this energy, but we don’t go that far, most of us, we are stuck .. but want to keep things the same “all human” “always all human” can we accept this, does it fit in? in our story, what has been written, purple towers, turquoise typewriters, rising off desk or central column, that is touched” oh, our silly imagination, or is it/ what do we say, who are our managers, and they bask in energy, the origin, the nameless, they disappear, bask in it, come back, are “solid” as much as we are “solid” painted on top of electrons and atoms and those aren’t even there .. created, we know no other, don’t know what made this, and in fact we can be it, we were never us, what are the layers, opened ../ we can be the thing, made everything, it exists, very strange qualities, not ours, not what we know as “qualities” “life” what did we expect? It would be like us? are we ready to move into this?) Oh, the history through this book, seeing what it is, talked of, oh entering different spots, different people have traveled to different parts in this. Share./ point out, what you’ve seen “traveling in this world.”)))place it over there, for just a second, very hard, to wear that in, even think of, have the lower t’an t’ian opened up, the energy center, do abdominal breathing, do energy heal/ oh what are you, boy? What are you, girl? People of earthAnyine attemotig this, and then linked ti the pipylation, who dyesmt generally do medtstion, they are in “all the things you wrap up” to have this strange furce float through them, their world, static ciommuicarion and whsat posrt iof you is them too, theur world. Very strange tio effect this, to feel beiong sable tio be aware of energy read someone’s sick and lifeness, diffuciulty, pasterns, of beig in esrth, seemingly a body, an iducibidual, alive “in this semnse” “of earth, the planet” of course we are alive!, and yet .. there are many questions .. why do we stare, feel as if not here, no way to explore that, have words, pieces, schematics, any plan, guidance .. so this book .. to grasp how this developed .. whst man canniot think of .. whst is nit here ..
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/endf’ snippet/ 11:50 am
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It’s hard, sharing, what I see in meditation, sharing it at large, not being scared “they will find it strange, they will not understand” is there some flavour here, they want to continue?
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What are floating words, so tempting, to feel as if a prayer being, shaved head, androgynous, sitting there, naked, cross-legged, on a board – ha gha eric you are so strafing dann you strannge! Yes, well aremt we all? Treally we need somrethig else, we always knew there was something else, but it never came, so does thius fill in, ior is iut it? “Are you really it? This is it?”
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/endf’ snippet/ 11:55 am
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So here we are, the world .. do we need a Jesus, do we need a God, do each of us need to come down to earth, say this scary stuff – scary to even try – this is even possible, in our heads, in the blur, you come to a wall of blur – what are we?
Cannot dip in. I have dipped in. My position in life, my mental frailties, as well as mental strength, using meditation to go into a world I had access to, but didn’t think much of, and all the doctors didn’t think much of either – to correct me – whereas they were stuck in what you could call the “matrix” they did not have the knowledge I had, and were trying to stop me from going there, if not quite purposely, sort of a fumbling, as all mental health work is, if not admittedly.
And I fumble here too, but I go forward, into this, I don’t just stop.
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/endf’ snippet/ 12:50 pm
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How do we say floating words “I see them there” you are so embarrassed, telling another about this .. you may only be able to say that much, then close it off for the day, come back another day, if ever. How do we respect this, that it is real, this is upon the humans, that with training, they can speak a little, exist a little “something not here” “something not meant to be here” or do we forego that blockage of it “keep it out” what is mental illness, separation from reality, but actually, in some people, is an ability to see above man’s projected presence, that deep in physics, we can’t even go that far, we are not here, we are projected, some other energy is behind it, we cannot touch – is it up to scientists to touch that, or is it up to the common man and woman, everyone, to do it this way? In their life? It is this way, it is for all of us, like breathing, except we are not even here, not even breathing, not even on earth, it is all a put-on, but complex, how we have art, seeming civilization, caring, but are actually just a bunch of pricks/ ha ha/ and so it goes ham harap, oh we do our best, c’mon, eh .. be nice, do your best, figure out .. and wonder if you can ever contact a seasoned chi kung veteran, years at it, at least 10 years, every day, hours every day, (someone that has gone “the deep physics” “beyond it, where the scientists stop, because they are too scared to do it in themselves”) that knows this, that has taken it this far, and sees the allowance of other humans in on it, they can see too, or it is worth trying, (humbly human wwrm,th nit science nose up in the air .. humblu gio around them, they are dshoiwen, thigs to keep them busy “by the writers” “turquoise tyoiewrioters” not me, but there us a stiry shiwn, people are let in resources, to continue earth, also run it, we are in the good/bad engine, a factory of bad patterns, to be read by something .. and this is what it says, some of it, acclimatizing itself to earth, to people things inventions breakthroughs but still earth is in a sad sad state ../ who will talk/ and in what way?/ reach forward, shy, like me, unable to do this, not too far) with a book, with somretjhig resmbing vudeo no/ gsmes? no Or social mediua? Ih .. Or a gamne? Nit real? Fake? Fiun” a movie? a fiction? People engsge in this “nit ti ever do it fur real” buit rhen someday .. it is all hooked into why we were kepot dsafe, oir relstuvely, why the humsn couild nit asccess this infirmstion, until niw, toi make another beig, thst floats free it is nit you, you “talk it” “guide it in wiords thst are no longer permsnemtly locsted in you” “you can actually fly, likie little ships, out from you” it is very scsry, you need much training, yiou go inti a panic, furst tryig atr it, you cannot will up thoughts, ecxisdtence, competece, you are lost., you stray scurry back tio your place body./ way it is but you feel “almost” yes, this almost happened, in my body, is it so set, my central place, me?
This is the way it is.
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/endf’ snippet/ 1:10 pm
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Starting to form, after 7 years, 52 years, a million years, all these pages, at this point, words, snippets refer to almost get need more work, in the public these bare words floating jittery can be tested between people, see what they say, in usual human talk, adaptive to this, (we do videos recordings drawings art, keep track, link, read esch other’s work, see each other’s work, invest in this, who’s got it right, who doesn’t, is it by people without meditation, is it by people with, is it a mixture?) staring at this, not scared, like of spaceships, (we giggle, smile, this is okay) which they are, (giggle smile spaceships) in a different way, funny, cute, we’ve been speaking them all along, just didn’t notice .. (oh words you do this too? Hs hja! C;mere let me hugh yiou you asre cute loveabke nit aliem designated foreign xenophobia, fear, no, nothing like that .. I speak them, I sadjest this iun my mind, I really do/ adjust ../ could this be true?:)
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/endf’ snippet/ 1:25 pm
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I feel like this, this is my human being, I know I grew up as a child, I lived in Hsawkesbiry, say, this menmorioes, people I knew, the yiwn, why niw, st 52, I feel this, layered in, when did it exidstm, when was it knockingon my dioor, I was sop preoccupied, with life, externals, drinking it in ..
Niw I hsve training in this, have fiound this, know hiw it works, a little, I could possibly sopeak as it, hsve the presence of mind, or peaceably share with human mind,m humsn life ..
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Emerging, how does this make you feel unifthinasble popoo lasugh kiddies we are all jusdy kiddies just kidding abo\ut all this no we’re nit, ah it’s not human not even what a little kid would think of oh adult sophposticatuion kiddie imagination fun freedom nothing (! Don’t let us down so quick!) (go! Eryc!) .. nione of us can do this (yes we can!).. but we do ot, we do it here .. bare bines .. 80,000 psfes, 90,00, hiuw can thast be “bare bones” silly words, many, grttig rhythm, of the “other thing” how can any of us?
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/endf’ snippet/ 1:55 pm
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So I went to see Dr. O earlier today, oh, good to see her, she’s a G.P. psychotherapy? I don’t know, the exact designation, but she can prescribe pills too, /but we talk too, for about an hour, she has a husband who’s ill with dementia-related things too, the memory, locating yourself, who you are, what’s going on .. so we can relate on that – oh, life .. “locating ourselves” “who we are” “as life winds down, apparently” oh, in my studies, the nameless, reads us, as we get tired, things fail, it reads us, floats there, is not stealing from us, making us weak, no, it knows how to live, in this projected life, it can be “perfect” in the air there, where we cannot, this story/ oh, it’s pretty serious, it hurts a lot, oh only projected, on top of atoms and electrons, which aren’t there either (you go far enough “what put that there” something put it there, unavailable to us, the mind stutters, breaks, at that, cannot form what that thing could be at all/ we are given “levels of finding out” but the thing, not matter ((not this “substance matter”)), does it think, see, breathe, is it there at all brinki vallmo/ whst stsrted this, from “niothig” but thst “nothiog” is a ver very curious thig. You see it in yes nors and yesrs whav of medustion.) .. oh, whst are the practical applications of this, when we’re a “Gid’ esach o dud us, a “Jesys,” or something, pick your name, or it really comes down to earth now, this very odd practice of stopping words in midair just by the way you and you ltalk, and once you hear someone thast really kniws wh/n o nonesty thry’re doing, has dune stip is studie, has the hidtoiry, has the mrental illness bsckground mrasshmallo/ erp! No .. oh, statements, jufggements, lsvbels, all the way to thus – if some being beyond us projects us here, then why can’t it project brinki vallmo hey blum mus glger itself in herretoo, ask our permission, our help, fiur ius tio realize this, in the way humans are, ban read nit get me “spell right eric” – all I knioiw is thsat I geel very good, in sit-down meditation, on my cushion, legs crossed, able to concentrate but be gentle .. it’s taken 12 years to get to this point, oh, be able to wear it in on my mind, where it is no longer “the eric human supposing this, a ‘what if?’ but you actually live this,” as the other being, reading the eric being, in my case, but any of us, reading our earth body, its problems imperfections our worries tiredness, oh and then it floats there, un rhe room near you “you nebver look” and then do you hsve ebem more presence of mind, to get the human to not just stare at it floating there, but go to it in floating words, cannot go to it as human flesh, no (you must maintain the sdtiry, the good/bsd enguine, the factory of bad patterns .. in order for this thing to alight, to have its glowing sameness perfection, a void, past the void, but enter here, barely have a place in the humsn lexiciom.) .. oh, to undersynd all this, the millions od fetails/ and also copy this intio a word program, see the wiggly red lines fur “mistakes” fiur the “personality “ of thigs) .. is it attrasctiuve to people “that words stop in midair/ you try it “they stop I hear my voice gravelly mumbling ticking a bit .. are they there, I’ve got to go to them, get up and touch them over there”/, just by saying it?/ depends what you say, the chi in it, developed energy, comfortable warm giving” “what do you mean, stop, thry’re invusubke, threy’tre nit ther!” “are they not. Do you feel this, on the other side of ssoddomething, does it give you that lostfeeling found me, very close, ti something else, on the other side ‘of a wittwall’ or something .. the blur, in you, something there, earth semses creation witty font work on it, esrth persiona diesnt work on it – is this so stramnge, dues this fit, is it the trslastig energy? Oh my, whst is my hudtiry, etic, tio cime up with this, our “practical god,” eachthe feelings of sactiually living as it each of us, as it would live, it duesnt just come herte tio hsve humsn finctions, it duesnt just do thst – but thst’s all we kniow, tioi do thst, repeat trhsr, “we are only here” now thgis, seems tio come in from “somewhere else no telescope or physical location”, the extra, apsrt from esrth;s stefsce, it seems ti be so unlike everything our senses and life say is there us, but then like us .. can we shsare the words, we thought they were a vcertain way, all along the way .. do we hsve room for this, do we see our telescopes amnd space travel as onky a miles shoe leather spurt story, and we are held from this, held from what I am illuis givin drat resaytig here tin, it is ciomig in, beyind miles, measuremackments, light yesrs, telesciope viusion truck wa, whstever / that is a story, can youi put thst aside, your stiory, complete human story, filled in, our developmrnt, to history carriage telescopes even, givem all this, the respyeces, ti explore, make, enjoy/ but it is all a stiry telescope off of carriage back dangling shaking/ can you feel the oither thifwiji g/ nit sat all anything hiumsn kniwm or human eptesemted ..
Thst’s whst this is. Do you want to take it this far? Develop to see this? Feel layers of human understanding “of this all that is isnt” but this is nit yes it is thst, this is the thig thst made your dstiory, is nit involved at all.
Sadly does not pick up rhings move clser tpo you Do you want it in yiour life?
Are you interested?
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/endf’ snippet/ 5 pm
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