there is more to humans than what meets the naked eye clothed shutters a film crocodile "feel" I poke it, no from long long away a stick .. no .. I do not contact you *smile* we have seen this abandoned it crazy man welcome to my family thus far.
so, life.
Here's a picture.
oh in my life I've just experimented, a lot of years, I'm 52 now, started chi kung meditation at age 40, work seemed to blossom a bit since then, oh it's tough, the mind tankoredcored apple empty shoot spy caress hate your own mind libeled from within all of us get a tit in the eye woman mind boxing us peacful wants to be not fighting le boxing suck clamp in your hand goes to your mind trying to get treasures, dish feel cardboard metal whim .. ha odd of no. 1 ha champion selsor I'm upset .. we do our best, just get on with it.
So here's some more writing, from offline, the book, project, long-winded, I'm workig on, well, step into it, from all sorts of angles, world .. so it continues on, we walk hills, from where last blug blue blog post is .. and this is a taste of it, at this point, "this plof esection psrtial hump in way sfyter any understandig is possiblke oof on each of us new person see us whst am I?" after 7 or 8 years writing straight, approval almost every day, a strange situation, with gurls, police, sdtroppers, good gurls, sex saddicts, posing as good people, or whstever clumsyalsmity, siome purely good people, and cinterfeutig, or suspects, or lesdig on rwwnsge/reenage folloiwers, tio folloiw me, oh bksh bksh it is a while big work, anyine's inside is, not just mine .. so, enjoy, if you can, if yiou want ti meduaste with me, in this odd way flashes of thoughts shapes whiz by some stay stop slow sit by my side when I do, sort of. New. Its own spouse friend accompaniment your own take on it all your space. All of us. Said some of thius. I can feel it. Yeah! croodles! Oodles and scribbles!. Looking for something.
/so here's the writing, carrying on from last spot in blog/ bye .. I get different feels from writing directly on blog page and writing offline, bye
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Oh comment on life or life inside, pages 80,000 pages 90,000 give me 140,000 all my life, or a short stretch 7, 8 years am I interesting at all am I worth it at all?
What are we inside, want to go this far schizophrenia bizarre “not here” “you’re weird” “stroke him off” or wait, we need to know, what we are, we can’t just subsist on sales of luxury goods, we can’t.
Tune him with chi kung meditation, brutal, he wails, convulses, or is past a lot of that, mostly, but it is still tough. Life. That we may go inside. Go through the doors.
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Strange that by far-out physics theories we may not even be here, our senses may be sensing things false, nothing may be here at all, hard to believe, my fingertips, what they feel, my toes on my feet, what they feel – is it not all real at all? what is this crazy? or is it at all, who knows, scientists postulating, people with schizophrenia convulsing, here, not here, they don’t have the wherewithal, calm, to be “not here” tell us what it is like, link with us, our far-out physics theory coming true we are shallow and mean and can’t stop make messes but are beautiful kind giving which is it? catch me later (we are humans, duplicitous, shine for the right people, shake the right hands .. but are mean .. and sniping .. “no, not for you” “you’re so pretty” and so it goes .. who will lay down on the street in front of a homeless person and lap their dirty feet? will you, or is she pretty, has jewels so shining arabesque don’t even know what that word means, it sounds fancy, fine-boned lady so fancy I melt and crumble before you, I am just dust, I will do anything, suck up, eat your shit, oh fuck I won’t go that fat, fuck off bitch. /After time wears out. Find a place. All of us. On earth. Want to know more. Are sick of this. Are scared. To find the way with a weirdo presentable.) (after all this time, all you weirdoes, is one of you presentable. Our weird story. Our weird human story. No, I like to clip my toenails give myself a pedicure. Smell good. Is that all I am, is that good enough fur you, toots? We all like to shine, and cry, headaches fleeting through our heads.), is this that important a book like this? calm, eryuc, calm duwn, shoiw us sittig in a chair hoverig in a berth, stay lashed horse wink poo insect fly from matted slime earths power wash can’t get it clean enough marble counter mountain kitchen sling me atmosphere over your shoulder, bag hold 10 humans 10 billion humans take us there spacecraft leather bag i.d tags computer link, whistle eric be happy tell us show us farther disappear freak fondle fond of you any human vearu face angle stioge, asnythiug./ make your own words body silver jewelry make a wink make a laugh create how damn far does it explode, make with words you float “little things” I walk to rhem, touch them gently with my fingertips “words in the air. Kiss you. Stand on tippytoe kiss you lightly run my tongue over you.”
You are strange, Eric.
“Am I? We want to create. In front of us. Like this. Sail. Connect chi kung electrodes have pulb bulb pull string get light in our minds, and loins, away from us little thing in air is god or further than god no lies no myth no human it is here zap spsrk shiort oiut yiou ugly curcuiot ugky wires uglky antique man make happen reciognize us, soopulail.
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/endf’ snippet/ 10:05 pm
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Show us.
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Monday, January 14, 2013 12:05 pm
So, here we are, I did about 18 minutes of magnification over there so far .. so I had a bad night last night, late last night, was feeling very ill, headachy, oh got things done though, put out the recycling bin, black box, for cardboard and newspapers, and also got my dad his pills, and flossed his teeth and coached him on brushing, I was barely mumbling for some of it, or softly speaking, getting through “where’s the door?” we all might ask, in this life. “Where’s the door to the better pave picnic table grass ballsness place?” Oh, silly as wee all can be mitackulous good images choose a spot in this book, sit, look around, live here with your clothes boots, what do people think, what is divorce staying world you can stay divorce advice hang around no tell me no give advice just play listen, no softbioce softbite, finally, a place to call home craziness presented well and working live! a place alive realtime right by our side with real content! Oh yes! sure, eryc, ah, we do okay lalebellull, play lovily in words, drool around, take our time dab, take a spot and ripple, test out our liquid words fanciness ur you iz, see what it feels like .. warrant big smile we want something to be alert,m want to feel it stand abburpleiated, eyes purple open misty ag shadow happy perfume no smell dab fee get me, be pure, not be laughed at, we’re not children, we are adults wham, but we need purity, no more slunky beplunk, slanderous, murderous, mean, sly, impinsulting, obdurate elf in suit faking it, can’t be broken, brittleiken into, your hidden feelings, behind face of “nothing bites and teases blithers me” “you font bother me word kiss”: “I will carry on” no one will fund and grocery lip me – so find a spontaneous leap it, in here.
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/endf’ snippet/ 12:40 pm
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Against all odds, we live here, find an interchange toast of gathfeather here what animal is that toast leeloaf of bread, fun find contact here words leap do ballet see them combine in streams of air, odd things, no wow yes, that no one will say, impossible, adults don’t, and kids whimmy shican’t reads at this arc of lollyle level, aren’t ready oh yet, oh can do some le of it la lal, you adult will have to take the briskunt, wander, in daylight float, be a tugged festivity ghosty plu, be insubstantial, mutust? Will you, be “insibmultinastantual”? ah goos, for a while, no one we all find you, no one know knew yes you .. in the world, the furgitten world, of this, or “never founf” “to be forgotten in the first plabbbaasve” new, beyond me new, not my hand here, the things that are blurry and not seen as first blurry, behimdyinnd blurry ..
We smile reserve judgement get carried along
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/endf’ snippet/ 12:45 pm
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Some of these parts they look best with a wiggly red line of “spelling mistake” under them, like fesdtuviuty, like vceklebrstiry vocabulary celebrate opening up moving on carefully with tenderness, it’s fun, the world isn’t working out asadver it is rize, this is fun, but you must have thought with it, it’s nutty just aimless no not fiurplunky all the rime meesy fun, or a little, it takes time, I’ve been doing this for 540, 50 tears, and years developing it “feveloping ehst, eic, youl;re a but!”/ a nut? oh thanks, no, but right now prihtams (what is that word that one doesn’t flow oogy) don’t hold this automatic creation nans before prupimp fsrmnishing iof pleasing words stretchig withj though deep through a thought bar to and fun – aim overall meaning goo, going somewhere.
We just need nonsense crazu word salsf/ salad, nah, it cares, we can feel it, caring for us anticipating our leap in mind then our steadfast conservatism.
It is fun, you know, but adult at the end of war bouncing lawsuits ah walk my dig of grave my joke willuly eilling offered weaklimy you could kill me or lift me up uo ahead still a little strep tomgth fur chillike crazy young wif with a caring and respob bouncsibility we love you dear whatever that just said don’t seal it don’t make us hate you eric leave it wandering
We need to go up ahead whole world
Our poor world going somewhere at all.
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/endf’ snippet/ 1:05 pm
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Oh the words the nasty little words or fun things just kidding, wiggly red lines like redline of tachometer? oh world going crazy we wanted “good speech” “good grammar” to work it all out, we felt the English language was all fancy and laid out and could see us through “why all this, eric, why not be satisfied?” oh, the english, the words, any language “supposed to know” our little world, supposed to know, about hidden people, vapid people, but completely just by own choice or default of being human have nothing to say .. nothing fits with blur crankiness, any of blur deigns to show ..
I can’t make you out.
Show me a way to make you out./ ah sexy nothing say anything can’t will anything up stand there with anybody young or old don’t know how to start this any of us oh wow huge work no small entry point pertinent the place the words sum up shake a hand “oh so that’s what it is!” I see now, I understand, it links .. /no, we walk alone, lonely oh my ..
Experimental, really mental, ha ha, oh the writing the cheese, between my knees, gross, oh la la skip along be rude be young, be young of 52 and words, it is okay, take a risk, play, throw it all away, throw it intro the air, run under it, like water sprinkler, words sprinkler ..
Crazy stuff, competent responsible man, la la, I put the recycle box out by the curb, I help my dad with his lunch, his soup is a bit cold, from “meals on wheels” I put it in a bowl, do the microwave for him, the same for his hot meal, in the tin plate, put on a plate, microwave safe, give him a little warmth, warmth of food .. / and our world/cold words/ but passable/ lukewarm .. our yeayeash speech, we donlt listen mo one cam do it “II am a mess inside” please csrress my mess/ little red wiggly lines shiow the public in decirstiuon in dyusplsy “I show you!” it’s okay it’s part iof the program thought and messoaisy words flyig daisy free!/, respect my mess, oh baby, it’s nit so bsdf, so scasred,. English in frint, grammar in front, bodu poistiore in front/ show some sexy damn mess literate O CANNIT DO ANY OF THIS AT ALL yeahm!! Oh baby nit so msny capitals not freak so many exclamstions msrls .. oh baby .. calm ppo .. a bit oif confusion getting there this out to the public, but some calm now ..
We just need letters for our pent up “we are not finished yet, not perfect yet in here!!”
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/endf’ snippet/ 1:50 pm
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So I did a good meditation, a 1+1, so with this morning’s 2 hours 14 minutes magnification, oh, kept open, I did some strictly magnification first, then wrote, then helped my dad, life, kept it open, only rubbed hands slightly together, /I am in this world “as this” meditation man! ha! anyways, life is often much more dull, yes it is, so a total time here today, 3 hours 28 minutes, then close completely, seal it in, the visit “to the being that cannot be seen” /we just stare in “matrix mode” cannot see it, wish we could, but you can see it, after 12 years in meditation, hardcore medical grade chi kung, 5-elements taiji, all this stuff, oh if it clicks with you, if you respect it, take time, don’t make demands, realize that often you feel bad, then a breakthrough, hard to do that, feel so bad, sick, physically sick, oh, mentally sick, everything, wait, sleep, then get up – live – so it goes – visit this other being, the border, go into the 5 planets “made up” their content, or where imagination breathes with the unseen being, give it a place, it can meet you, like the planet with all trees, all wood, forests, the green energy, meet it, be a “stupid human” offer imagination kiddie love innocence new planet, at some point it is a real planet, all is real, in a different way/ beyond earth, curious about physics theories, but not living them, in that “we are not even here” “something else is here” powerful, skull skill mash keep alive dinner balanced eat yourself and fly, that is rude on edge make me pretty words sigh to offer it to it ..
So you take in energy, you find a way to meet with “impossible” energy “it is not yours” “you will never get it” now this time you do, be at peace, bring these 5 planets, their content blah spring polish pop energy, know it is partially your way/ wood, fire, earth, metal, water,/ partially any thing any human child and adult knows/ this earth, our pictures, our experience, what we find “real” in this “matrix”/ and partially this unseen thingie, make a pass translation ..
It feels really really good. arg af
And all this odd writing .. oh I also saw Shae in the meditation she prayed for me said she loved me so much, would always love me “feel my strength in tiitiprayer ereyc it isfur you jeep going oin this gropo project theories project I kniow I cannit ciontact you rught niw it is ,mysdterious touch you be with yiou when is the time/ of course wem nor meshecould be grettig msrrued soon, her own life in the mstrtx life, I feel she still prays for me though /“this beautiful ciunt is fiur you, go into it, pump intoi it, little do you know man guck me giuckme good it is not rude love me strong loive unvinfudyionally/ condition of meditation pute puke pure think abandon it is onlky yiou and me bsby excise my rudemess I am in prsyer thigs ciome and go. I feel you. Inside me. It is love like I hsvenever kniwn.
So, life, I also ..
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/endf’ snippet/ 3:45 pm
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saw the little grey prstrer beig, moirefemsle thasn male, slight msdtlinglkings (I don’t know what that word is, sorry, “nestling kings”?), indentations, the stuff, bumps, but not much, she was walking through the snow, on streets, not cold, perfectly fine, barefoot, bare everywhere, people looked at her strange, or she hovered, moved on, they lovingly accepted her, meditation see/ near her “master” nit quite, friend, walked into office supply stores, got stuff, moved through aisles, anywhere, got things, stood by, walked with me her you, everyone had them, we had this feeling, everythif was at pesce, the prsyer beig floating, followed thewalkig himasn out of the store – it is quite fusntastuc fussy, feeling this in meditstion, it is free, I a, allowed. So that is nice.
Amnyways, yeah, the prayer poo being, exiremds out, meets mnameless energy, wait that’s an awful image/ *gigglr* evem the psrsyer breig dusappesrs, tio firm fully intio fkstig woirds, autonomous, inrewlligemrnt belligerent? intelligent?, contained, as beig in luke any other, msybespeaking, maybe (unlike) just making shapes, stitching gumm, rolling, stitch your gum, what? I canniot always remember pleaseiss it all, but it is very intemmse, powerful, I got many masntaray shiocks this time, chsrges of wistdul poem whip, chsrhing uo / crashing up cherishing with this energy.
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/endf’ snippet/ 3:50 pm
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So follow this as best you can. And this work, it is written on my home computer, on the screen it is 12 point “Times New Roman” font, and it appears yes with wogg;y red lines, under suipposed spelling misdtakesm, oh love me fur it (but in the blog I go with their font, just leave it, don’t regret things too much, just carry through, and of course they don’t have wiggly red lines, not yet, oh when .. love, from afar, our mistakes, risks, love .. in our perfect mechanical ../ opened), oh be comfgortsbke, anmd some green wigglky lines, fur gtammaser mistakes , or thigs I should cinsdiuder. But if you want thefill effect, fill feel it should be in that. Do you hsve a word porohram ptoblem?prigram? Moist people do. Oh,. life, yiou can copy it to there, resad st yior discretion. Life, we want to know the misdtsjes misses thst csrry us firth, nistakes? top pure bliss. The “thigs we’re nit supposed tio love as do here” thst csrry usto pure bangliss/ oh, nit bad thigs, but just counter litchen, ti the fscsde of the perfect humsn, which is nit perfect at all, not in the least. There is much work tio be done. To give this other being its life here. (so have wiggly red lines underneath they are so pretty, earth’s problems are absolved we travel we go somewhere else) Make it comfirtasbke. Live, yes, as as humsn still, but givethis other berpig its life. Impossiblke improvements, impoossibke effiurt, in life.
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/endf’ snippet/ 3:55 pm
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