This drawing says "I don't know how to talk. I don't know what's going on." /sosomewhere in the mess, sue me entertainment unclear blanket just hug me tight .. this time .. just this one time .. right weave .. right dots .. you are there light grey letters, run-out pen
all persons, run out, but still going, as we all must be
stay the course
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here's some more writing pouring out my flask drunk in the park which drunk rubbie has a shiny stainless steel flask like this
lost
we pee, we wash in it no don't be gross confused safe at home just write marginally
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where is I can play hockey I can smile I can be interviewed I can do something with my life
where is
as we all have trouble defining join in the story as we head back to staying distant watching not nefarious just staying distant no inclusion no complaint just like it that way watching our watching as we perform as watching bears
no command
no circus
just lonely homes
alone, with family, or alone, justify alone, be okay with it
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we have additional little lives in strange quirky places, don't bug me about weird kinky not kinky don't bug me I need life
I need to know I can ask for this fucking weird stuff glorious blue sky fucking weird stuff in human life
I need to smile ioopenly in my wed weurd insde
come wir me
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In addition to live, see po;iticuiams/ politicians/ spell me right/ cameras clicks/ lendes turn adjust/ sentences writing English world surfvce/ be/ on news wmsm in opamtsouit rich man tall poty hair nesrby try politics/ so we watch the news, they hsve little bits scrolling by underneath other bnews, so we wastch/ as if none is enough eat watch
And us wherwe are uys wipe bum est / where stairsfood sepraste times live life, ever join in quickly mumble many words, as whst, you lived a life, you asre ;ibing join in humsn / wjhat was that word back there we don’t know/ excuse mewalking stound /this flows/ I need/walkig 2 lgs 2 srms/ this news you apeesred as thst
But sdtill you stsyed bssck
All of us wondered besuders the humsn ;mdscaoe whst to say whst ti vbe
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By thst was quite a mess
Whst just happened there
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So here us som writing I dud offlibne/
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Oh life .. so I had intended to do a bit of exercise, after I had had something to eat, an hour after meditation had ended .. it gets quite late in the day, I mean, 4 p.m.? something like that? I don’t remember, //to eat, for the first time, in the day, ah meditation, how you pain me out, /oh, it’s not that bad – yes it is – but the energy does sustain you – and really people go for lots longer without food, and there is a treatment, in this meditation “bigu” where you go without food, live on energy, it actually starves the disease, but feeds your healthy body, but is serious, you should be under a doctor’s care, plus the chi kung master, at least the first time you do it ../ so, life .. so yes, it’s a bit early, to eat, an hour after meditating, then an hour after that, exercise, it seems too close, to having the two energies related, I mean my exercise is related to meditation, but it also needs rest, separation between the two, so I hope to do some in the next half hour/ the stretching is good for me, warm up, break a sweat, do a strength exercise, for whatever part of the body I’m working on that day, then do stretches .. it is healthy .. hard to keep up on it all though “I often feel ‘what part does this have to do with life?’ ‘no one else is doing this, should I be doing it?’ ‘is this what life is at all?’”/ah we want to believe the best about how life is going, regular life, stores, business, grocery stores, schools, hospitals, every place, we want to say ‘ah it is fine’ but there is a sadness in people, unapproachable “I mean is this world, is the approach of meditation, is it silly, who’s it for, the elite? what is going on? when we have this unreachable, foreign sadness, /no one touches – /ah you get help with it, some people get help, what do they do, deal with a 20% chunk on the surface and is that being generous describing it like that, even 20%, we simply don’t know how, to reach the depth of pain, using the surface, which we are all living. Until you do serious hardcore meditation, and I can tell you, well, you feel pretty strange, there’s a lot of time devoted to it, you sort of have to have “a quiet life, quiet away from the pack” but at the same time, how can you tell them, because a lot of people are undergoing this type of indescribable pain “when everyone says everything is fine” it’s people from all walks of life in pain, the rich, the poor, yes, it is absolutely a requirement to have a roof over your head, to be protected, to be safe, if you can, or degrees of that ../ there is just a sadness though, like life is incomplete, we just don’t feel well, many people turn to drugs, or booze, or any addiction, sex, food, gambling, many addictions, just to “feel” /may be married may be in a relationship don’t know how to tell their significant other, they may both be doing it, don’t know how to talk about it, bring words to it .. you can’t even think of the thoughts, where they are, where they come from, distant, but it hurts like it’s right here “but it’s nothing to do with life” “or you have enough sadness to do with life” “the other is foreign” “how to break it down, how to deal with it” no one knows how, a psychiatrist gives you some pills, you want to believe, the multi-billion-dollar companies are on top of all things, smart, caring. Ohh my Gid, “they are as bd as ,e/’ “all the, are as bad as me spellsad as me? theur pills dinlt work, dinlt spell class work fir them eother teacher be, they dinlt wamt me tio fund out .. oh my Gud!” and psychologosts, supposed tio talk about it, dupposed to kniwe hiw beyond “they’ve seem the intrucscies of the humlmind” “byt again, onky humbl the humsn ones, wjeras thuis lies much in theredeeper.”
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brave
So yes, much deeper, hiw do you be a part of the swesrig bultch and bastasrd gulch world as well as politics, psyc sihistry – the whole full scking thug, and excise my languge, and nith sides, and side, of hunan, and then mediste, wearher it “want ti find out wjst all this is. please wade through the garbage car garage clean go mout into filthyu world we must”
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It is certainly nit just the world, yor heoght, your fsce, your age, this is more , is this a cartoom rrad eat chips it is ceratnly nit just thst.
No one can talk about it.
As them all, all thesewrds coming out ourtheur mouth, are them, they regret it “oh sometimes it’s okay, just leave them, no correctlive as a citiozen iof the world – sometimes itls okay to breeze by not deal with just watch” then nit. You’d like some represmtstion, or some sctual thing, of a beg nit in the dtiry./ the story dirty story
Oh, dues thst spund could yiou get it yo come here the clean being I don’t want to hear from humans/ sad picture/ idstrange, nit fur me, but I hsve beem through the 90,000 psges of thus street phonebook, memossage and lived this cheeselife, you get sporadic bits of oh a more innocent here, as you see thus a little, in sddtuon to your “big life” “very busy perc” ayt no time do you see yourself deboting drug perjme 3, 4 hours tio medition no not t6hat! a day.
But you listen here a bit.
Catch me dprojecting beamup. Wander “the streets” if you will “of this land.”
See inside. you
We all want an inderwater tube seesharls of us swim above
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Get in there without meditation
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/endf’ snippet/ 8:40 pm
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