no this first drawing isn’t about a “monastery” it’s just for all of us can’t get there, 10 years old, 90 years old, take your shoes off, socks, in the summer, be in the park, city park, not at peak hours, like on a Monday or Tuesday, ah maybe a bit of overcast day, I don’t know, in April? not too warm “not bright sunny all kinds of people” / “sort of like the mood in our heart for all this world” can’t get there .. walk in the parking lot, on the pavement, in your bare feet, tender dangerous who broke a bottle there, even if you can’t see big chunks, the microscopic things, walk anywhere, on anything, on anyone, with anyone
Join hands
For can’t do a dang thing
Weirdo, Mr. weird, come over, we’re ready now, /no, take another year
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This next drawing ah just have some fun, can you enlarge this? Click on it? and enlarge screen a bit? I don’t know, see big, see some detail, then go back to small, medium, ah pretend you’re at a table somewhere just show someone these papers meet at a coffeeshop maybe not a franchise one maybe a neighbourhood one or just not a fancy one, not a big developed neighbourhood, people are poor, you are too or a mixture, shit your pants no you might have let a wet one fart through not too bad just mist, pants will seal it off, you’re okay, that’s too gross, sorry, too real for you? gross humans, pigs, greedy, meet, as if these papers show you can talk a certain way, expound on humans trying to be a higher being, can’t say, are too shy, or too dumb, walk in life, no monastery here, fucking chumps. Ah monks required to go out in the world, never be a monk, as if they don’t grab the wiener sometimes too, the cunt, the wiener, nuns monks equal opportunity, sorry, I’m just setting the scene here “you don’t think too much of this guy?” “neither do I”
Ah the page like i.d. paper “yeah” the man says “this is me, invest in me, buy my work” /“but can you talk like the higher being?” says the other man. “No, not quite yet.” /nothing to fake, but a helper. We learn to listen closely, pick out the fakes. This is very strange indeed.
Follow the whole book, 90,000 pages, over a 7 or 8 year span, or still continuing, but you can’t read it all, none of us can, but it follows us, it always has been.
It just got a little bit closer this time.
We adapt it into our lives.
Ah, smile, do unskilled, dumb drawings, don’t understand it, don’t get it.
None of us ever have.
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So this next drawing, or these two drawings, go together, ah “1 of 2 pages” “2 of 2 pages” hand-done no meticulous computer work here, ah hand snipped out pages, or the little strips of words just a bare exacto blade on a cutting mat, curve the cut wave up and down as you cut, carefully, ah the lines that appear when you scan it just bottom one I guess this scanner I got, but cut out words, or 3 at a time, 4, don’t get too labour intensive, there is some work, /but glue then down, i.d. your art /you /you fucking lazy bum, or meditates, quiet home, people made mistakes about you, you’re not lazy at all/ ah this book “i money earth” /fuck, just a mood, world isn’t changing .. /so have this nuts book, a bunch of words misspelled at a certain point through it, or here and there /like a fucking phone gone wrong? Nah it’s just our world messed up words or see a few more with them, imagine your own, your own work, /it’s a special skill, to misspell, but hint at 3 or 4 words, or 10, /at 3 or 4 different scenes, mixing, //and then just the fucking potholes in the road of life, ha.
Messy way this came to life. Messy. Maybe some day you’ll know. Ah the effort, my “wasted life” or marinated, in mentally fluxous mind, or that’s fancy space age “I wasn’t here” “couldn’t get involved that much” “I was doing this” I guess.
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So yeah, developed along the way, and these two sheets, the “m.t.” “material thing” “it’s me you know it could be something I’m afraid to let out, from far away, across the galaxy” guffaw or certain people tired of guffawing fucking worn out, need someone nuts but competent, quite a few of us, from all walks of life “nuts but competent” “show me your work” “papers” “show me your talk” “as the being” take hints from eric’s book, go along.
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So all for tonight on that. The following work on this blog post is just some work from offline, since last post. I left some out, you know, too embarrassed it’s fucked up or just too much to include “give everything” “no thanks”
So here it is.
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So I did a 3+3, so that coupled with 1 hour 12 minutes magnification, equals 3 hours 39 minutes total. So you do your best, and even feel like doing that much, like perhaps you were wrong “going to the monastery thing” “perhaps you saw what you needed to see, yesterday, today, got through, it is not always obvious, you are not let in on the highest level you are moving into.” So yes, “customers” like a sex worker has customers, puts on a face for them, but perhaps a woman \in any walk of life has “customers” she puts a face on for “her father” “her mother” “her friends” “her son” “her daughter” “her coworkers” “anyone” “a cashier at a grocery store” “when do I stop putting on a face” she may ask herself, and can tell no one, there is nowhere to move into, feel beyond earth, feel the sad procession, move across the miles, the light years, find what you need to find/ /and a man the same, is he ever himself “the face he puts on for customers” “in the world” “at home” “is his wife even his customer” when do you stop, what creature is in you, never is revealed,/ what \is earth, the physical earth, of matter – the ground, and resources we have used, to build cities, buildings “all around us” now what are you, a wall to it, in you, you just feel discombobulated, at odds with everything “the great world” “built so great” but it is not so great, ever, after all .. are you a creature, no arms, no legs, just a glow, happy, “superior” no you don’t know what that means, if you were ever here, made all this in a line and said hello/ but delicately leave it be, leave it alone, are you even here/ not such a joke anymore, but still ask no one/ not here,/ is that a “mental illness symptom” or were they all wrong, poor thing doctors/ could you ever be here, as part of this all, the human and the mess, brought on by human and “superiority” they sure make a bad pattern, that seems almost not a bad pattern/ so good/ no one does anything, just waits for it to build and build up bad/ so you can stand it no longer, are tortured inside, say nothing “can’t come here” “as whatever you are” is what no one can say/ ever that/ be appear/through the human life/ even have enough of a handle on it to mention it to a friend, no/ now tell no one that, face-to-face// never can be thought of, to think to tell, totally, we are a mess, bad pattern is our inner life, no placing it aside to see this, with the utmost meditation/ wavering on knowing it, never knowing squat, fuck it, how rude and telling, your eyes behind your eyes/ do you present it, even tell “all the people” “that have been your customers for so long” how rude, so close to you, but this hidden “to you” “to them” “to us all” you don’t, as delicate as putting it that way, you shy away, think of it, through this book/ thus this book is, a chance, you don’t have, you barely achieve reach in these small spaces big pages strange new walk away get theres.
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/endf’ snippet/ 3:15 pm
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Work on what you can, what am I working on here, ever going to say, to a friend, sit with her, have a coffee or tea off-hours no rush pitter patter thumb thump gas on phone orangutan city-goers, ashcan industrial furnacefi mouth giving topds on stgocks and cons, say “”yeah, prsdyer berigs. Appesr here tpoo.’/ prayer beings, appearhere too
We just donlt do any og thst./ say it al;l our words in olsce glide arport moving sydewalk
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//whst the workld needs. senyences Yeah yeah we’ll get tio it
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Oh famntastuc beigs or when chio king is opned up in you, emergy cemnter, cindiots , out iof this workd ‘is thst really truye/’ could you spell correctly please ‘yeah, irt is.’
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Oh we;kll work on it someday. Itxhy ti do the prsctycal, ehst is a god, whst is the humnsmn story needing a gudlillm, whst uis the imsdghinsry being, or jooks intio energy transfer from out of thus dimndion.
Um ah what is clear
Ah jumble up to ever say this to a friend ever introduce it possible doesn’t fit in reality talk introduce it through book a woddl she gets warmed up dhurk will then asccet iot in reality talk/ wjat were some of those words there I didnt quite get thrm too bad life lineups sentebces parking cars pull in
All as usyal
Nit t worry
Story gies on you’re irrotsted with, never changes
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Wjst dud ypu insert in justy here?
nothing
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We have something long needlesslu long book follow us through yesrs, as all else gies on, this makes it here, odd cresture little prayer big sit on tabke, hsve coffee in shop, she sitsd there invisubke, shut yor yasp to friend, I;;me shut mine too, look at her
In all this world .. see this little creature I’m not high lost my mind/ will you do this privacy with me long away privacy
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So much going in, crest birdivity, warch fsce coloursm sport watch, rollsexinpaper,, antique newspaper cordoned off shop for pube/ so muich style street style 2013/ spruing/ summer/ I thnk il just wesr duesmt too worn put yet frsyg on the bottiom edge
Mty hair, drop shave tiny bits frillNot leadng edg, just dragged fall bombs toilet
We is must understandable musty dusty
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What’s your beef world not real
So we make lardoloopthis must sackhair
Along come one of thesed years
We have easy almost got joke let it go got it still/ musical words other world creature never here got through still
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I think upon some being from edge of universe through medistion tget here now, I think upon it now
Thank you fir intriducimg it hsvig steady optical stysbilizatipn brain stabilization word stabilization
Appear here. use words dufferentky. Sucjh is uyour great skill, quiet skill.
Changed world.
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/endf’ snippet/ 6:55 pm
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Oh amazingly confident people in their bodies on earth, have peak years then get tired in older years .. how it goes .. I was never able to say anything to them about anything else.
I never could insert in regular conversation talk about the sky.
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How strange, by the way they held their body, their face, I could not make up anything, from my world, inside.
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I was scared off, oh poor all of us, the world over, letting them run things, they seem to know what they’re doing, do they argue, yes, but they also love, and get divorces, they are very busy, juggle a lot in a day, but not this.
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World
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I love you.
Watchdog off to the side, my part not included.
For your world.
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What hints do I drop, to set up for later? What control do I have, any clue at all, how for this to arrive in your word, you to stop and take a look, stop stop stop.
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How strange, the sentence, the objects, the streets, the houses.
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How world is shown off, for developed, a fortress, the fortress of the sentence on the page, the fortress of human life on earth’s surface. Nothing else arriving.
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How do you ever think another way born into a human body losing everything, the edge of the universe, blank happy not making crafts with your fingers, oil lines offshore oil rigs, hair styles, Brazilian waxes .. watch, the wax on, wax off, practice, get smooth, do you try, edge of universe, lie about, no bed, no body, not even lying about, where are you hovering, do you even do that, nit measureable by any of our instruments or eyes, does a troubled mentally ill person meditate to gain access to you talk as you so scared they are on earth, don’t get it “hovering” “in midair” in their own way, swatted down, like a mosquito, in a sense.
Can’t live.
Anything else.
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What do you say to them, as they struggle to say something to you from where they are?
How many steps is it to their life, edge of universe, but one of 10 billion split apart people from that one being, not measureable, but on earth they are measureable, to each other, and to everything. And this other, does not get to speak. What is its relationship to us? To the mentally ill, installed on earth, believing “they are not the same” “and they are wrong” when they are actually this.
Where is it going? All man and woman in the usual way, their story, of succeeding, of being something, of leaving their mark?
And this other thing, that does not have a mark at all?
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Only the entire humanity, marked in the sky, in nothing.
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Who does he tell, brag, boast? Where os his street? His house?
He looks.
Does not understand. His place, his part. As invisible, but energy, a feeling, in delicate words, explained, by a crazy person, not wanting to be seen as crazy.
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How does such a person start on earth, maligned, canceled?
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What a small beginning, for such a great entity, ignored, unfound “we do not understand”
So meditate freaky little mentally ill person on earth
And do this
See it through
Existence
Of it on earth
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From one being hazy clear energy smiles looks away does not have your actions protocol manners moves duplicity con hint use abuse .. /stares .. stands back there somewhere .. standoffish
But has to eat, as a human, has to have a roof over its head, as a human, of course it does, must survive, as a human, see its life through .. the great try to be something but it exists as just its tiny one self
That has no markers, no style, charcoal, lithographic crayon, what esoteric little unknown art piece
Artist
Career
Reputation
Gallery
For each of us
The crazy in us
That this cannot say
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10 billion of us, or soon to be, if we hang on, 10 billion, some go back to the maker, in meditation, to consult on failures, to love, to be anything ..
Oh, life, talk with a maker, shrugs its shoulders, is in an old sweatshirt, more or less
Is comfy in it, has worn it a long time
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There is nothing to say, nothing to be, it does nit “be” as us, things do not change, what superhuman effort to be mentally ill survive that then find meditation hardcore survive that then find people interested in talking this hardcore survive that, all in one lifetime, prejudice, haughtiness, royalty, of confident humans “this does not exist” “only they exist” so they say .. strange failures, to love, to be anything, accomplish, feel satisfied, communication, with always a strange blankness in them, unintelligemtgraspbe it be something ti do with it
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/endf’ snippet/ 8:15 pm
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Beyond their grasp as living a full lifetime what you see as a youngster hanging around small with big adults in living room or preferring to play off somewhere else, they are strange, then one day you become one, they are still strange, hidden, we go on “behind their face” “they think human” do they .. what is there what strange gentle think beyond evil?
What is there I drop hints for, do you get them, evil adult, something else in you? oh a playful evil, a not so bad evil, a scrunched up evil, balled paper evil, throw away, what are you, human, in your heart of human, and in something else?
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What is there, I go on your fake face I like, I like some of them, I go on your evil mind, or negative, or sniping backstabbing, some joy, it doesn’t take much pleasure in, all it wants to do is die and kill, /I prefer to see you as nice .. ooops .. and farther on in you we walk someday holidays old town old streets slow down .. walk with me through your face and persona of earth, ever a way, ever a language, to go in behind there, farther in .. ever a parallel interesting thing to do all our lives with ../ than all these mini-opened too much too late we seek to save some of them, salvage … farther ..
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/endf’ snippet/ 8:25 pm
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To have the time I sit alone with others down the street up the street cafes goodcouuts/ whasts that sounds cute I think/ could be not/ food courts/ oh was tyhst what it said? Oh too bad you siappoint me/ hint great oned things you can’t follow through on here, here on earth durting yiour lifetime any of us/ uup the river dtywn the river sold dirtyingme out I draw pictires scratch sewageroadbiesrt/ I flicker on that sewage no sew / sewa good road vuuddy/ ad bude my time, to leap, in funny, ha ha, serious, unexpected prowl of leaopard skinny eriter vegetarian/ but still a bite, words on our mind things never said universes energy of living, /no semse, come other fureun off / foreign earth to edge of universe plate roll other you there bowling soft catch you cradle every city are you the youythere
Terll us quiet shit
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/endf’ snippet/ 8:30 pm
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So me back here online that’s the end of that work offline sorry it’s so long sorry about that .. I don’t know how you’re reading this, if it’s off computer screen, or some favourite device easier on your eyes, sorry
But on we go
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