It is not about money, it is about meeting in a lawyer’s office, respected, a booth, or some recording studio, freaky man, freaky woman, any passersby, do not give this on the street, do not give to anyone they know, friends, family, it is not sex, secret sex, affair, /it is past death, past when you’re old, but you’re young then, /but now .. it is past career, past working hard, worrying about money, investing money, and seeing the news, and breathing the air, and dying, dying a thousand times a day, with worry, heartache, scrubbed charcoal paintings, paper broken down sloshy your face like numerous Francis Bacon paintings and copycats through the ages, pay homage, but we are just dead, scratched pulp worry painting, for each of us.
So meet in lawyer’s office, special prepared person, at least 10 years of hardcore chi kung meditation, medical grade, every day, some in the morning, some in the afternoon, or nightfall, sometimes miss that one, but we’re talking hours, not 15 minutes, or even 5, can’t stand it, can’t stand yourself inside, and these people also have literary skills, writing, creativity, art, are freaks, abandoned life, life hurt too much, but now sell it, views of it, the world, from after death, while they are young, hide this, only reveal, in lawyer’s office, protection, security, filming, talk with patron, collector, their art, but also how they talk relate “relate to me, say .. a little .. please” pay for it. And so it is. Unique meeting, not for in life, in any social discourse, never.
We meet.
You take home recording, multiple camera angles, of you, and thindor thisdoor, someone, male female, that can look at you, gulp, swallow, talk a little wase eff wackweash take beach many, take hours “do you want it edrufited,.. whst happens words link lack lap in there, staring, you fly words stop them in midair are a being berside yiur body a tiny being “she is tiny” no touchig, sre there mobile crews, move around me yiou patron c ollecter, is there a windowm on us or os it all white black spark, sit there and flasges inside, collector brain of m,oments. Runb eyes in morning get up
This is referencveal.
This is veal? Real? Baby lamb? I was not fro the slaughter this is me now, gentle, no book.
This is oit of the book.
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Out of the book, out of your mind, or protected, real inner life, feed into others real inner life, collectuir of moments, you can remener, do we film them? is there protection? A guard in the room? To protect the inner mind from shallow walk-aeround humans, excuse me, no offence made, we none of us can help it, “I am shallow too” says the dimenoughdoor any openug to me calm set up situstion it is no prototype we carry it out nervous torn apart person at last hasa placestotue no stripper it is somethih high step uper, protection bad spelling queay entry into, laweyers asrt world collectirs of bresthing beyinf bresthig .. queasy you need a grvol you’re seasick mindsick
Furst drawing up there, oh uncomfurtsbe clumsy eyes closed thinking see me dint touch me dont come too close we discuss it do I need a plexigkass shied shallow humsn shy cover me bullets cober fire words impression office like you a bank robber on me, I am quiet humbke but I reveal very little tio anyine it has become like this protection for us in a bux o in a cell or are you in the cell, shallow humsn, no time fur death odf consumer get some depth now collect phione call, so collect it, you fullcker, yiou srt pstruin, can I talk to you about any, gemtky, but words move “they move .. you have read the wotk .. you come to see mer now .. do you see therm, we are ordinary weestablush them fkst free from me do nit film me doing thi there is nithig to shiw yiou exceot for you rotten wealthy walking down street, it is yor feelings inside, asmi walking in yiuyr gands with high heels no lets just talk in harsh love wink war not used ever.
We come
We walk no penis or vsguna
We walk to collect special moments like this, set up freak no porno film no snuff film just talk to me real person behind the face
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Whstever is there, through medistion, through mental illness, specally plucked mentally ill srtusdtuvally skilled words though conversation meltdown chi kung torturous walk through wall of fure then appear
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//
So bring yiour drawigs some of these from the book, copies, prints, brig your own too, your interpretstions, bring parts from the writing, let me see you human in protected space, I am small broken shy don’t talk much
All this
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//
So to hsve touches of person fried so nervous from mentail illness frued dued st an esrly asge, held on, didn’t commit suicide
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.. it appesrs niw, through medistion, there us a dufferemnt sdtiry.
There is a dufferent story.
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Oh c’mon eh anyways I think I’ll go upstairs have a rootbeer, ah with some mexi mix, cajun mexi mix? whatever it’s called, spicy peanuts crunchy seems to shit well the following morning, sorry to share that, but I can’t eat prunes every night, for irritable bowel syndrome, from stress, from a girlfriend back there it started being with her a terrible situation, ah the unseen “I thought everything was fine” “you pretend” “on the surface” “you want it to be fine” “everybody does” oh I was already tense unsure ../ I wanted “love” to ficx it, we all do, despsperste ‘I hesrd love cam fx this” “can you fix me”/ so in a way it was aws much my fault as hers, I was nit autiniomous enough, in myself, cakeup lomelo in myself hissiiofslow calm could, hasd nit dine the terwork, oh thse yesrs would com,e lster, last frubchance, last alternative, to scvtua;lly sad slook at myself, not bkasme others evemn though she was afraid in childhood with her father a hifdud blot
Whsts thst/ oh we all are raosed claptrap some worse terrible worse thasn others, chanche jist gog goneke gj uggke walk run wobby drink sex out of control childhood nerver solved
Anyways people live their horroes/yeah, but me ah talk about this less/ get a cold can of root beer, quiet in house, I miss my dad, he died in august, poor man, I helped with him, as best I could, sluggard him on my shoulder hekped him walk when it was stasrtying
We all jitter, view of lifePoor masn
I oftem say “Im siorry dad” I mean I’m sorry fur his sugfferig it took him over seeing people drofraw is nit easy his last months in the home he was here as long as he could be, his own home, everybody smile wants ti be in theur own home for as long as possibke, with a lovig child.
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hold on memoeoes comfort bleakeness the juggle slifing scenes different drawing put in front of us different days, hold on.
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