Handing out papers, meeting pay me what the fuck am I a slut a prostitute pay me do you have any money don’t meet me for love. Shy people meeting have different papers than money. This time.
/oh this book “I money earth” but a higher level, we still use money underneath our level, as beings, floating in midair “oh them’s there that meditation stuff eric!” oh yeah all back in the book. The possible, of words, meditation, shy, brave, carry it through, all the big changes./ coming someday
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So that’s a bit of writing halfway to the blog I’m getting more the hang of this, /writing directly on the blog having some off of it, bring it to it, but writing on the blog is nerve-wracking not safe // oh “meeting people”’ in a way, the internet, people, watching, deal with them, feel millions, or a few .. oh you know I revert to hiding everything, get real scared, real for a reason real scared what? have nothing to say, nothing clever, roll eyes against the wall they bounce nothing. who got
Not me/ So here’s some writing I did “at home” before “coming halfway to the blog”
This is writing from the actual book sprawling each of us has a big ranch of writing inside/.. come to the city take up a very small apartment of a blog
And have no life of risking it all with people can’t talk can’t think around them none of us can, it is very strange get sucked into the world of “making things” but not actually living
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(so here’s the writing)
(today “at home” “the house," the basement the recroom my desk)
So today, yeah I had some more Fudgee-o cookies after dinner tonight I didn’t have any all day .. oh, for dinner I had a can of French cut beans, green beans, and some crackers and hummus, and a glass of cranberry-raspberry juice .. so that’s pretty good, nothing fancy, keeps me alive, then those damn cookies, right/ but life, I haven’t had those cookies in years .. reminds me of women, seeing them as something to eat, rather than something to talk to, someone, another being on this earth “what are we” oh, is rarely asked, people are busy, presenting a public self, I would not know how to invent a book like this, talking to a woman, talking to friends, meet for dinners, know everybody’s name, it’s a close-knit group .. ah a lot of that is legend, art, it doesn’t really happen, I mean, it did, here and there, friends, what are those, not all of them betray you, but it lacks something, life lacks something, perhaps it is because we are from one being, but never talk about it, it is the only thing there is, but is not made of arms and legs or any body, that is very odd, at the edge of the universe, something there, creating, creating huge planets, stars, and what they float in, creating that .. and here we stand with this book, creating what/ papers, extend me a paper, your drawing, though you’re no artist, or if you are, please don’t not with me .. /we are all a mystery, one being creating this ground, my legs, my eyes, my face, look at yours, can you handle that, or do you panic, we all panic.
Seeking for a better way to live.
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/so that’s the writing from at home here I am halfway to the internet out of those files into midway files I looked at the internet my site imoneyearth the blog looked at it felt it I am very sensitive
To you.
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And life the strange lives of knowing people more when away from them.
For all of us.
And meeting with these papers under plastic, the person careful not to bend them, and put them on a clean spot on the table no sticky stuff underneath even on the plastic mess up my world.
We meet.
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And do we talk, about this book, or anything.
Our insides.
Distant.
To the edge of the universe.
“do you know anyone like that?”
“I do.”
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A few of us around, that have studied done the meditation, for a beginning 10 years, then 12, 14, every day “you sucker you bastard get the fuck to work?” yeah it’s damn hard no joke living alone devoting taking an interest rather than lazing around so broken head broken mind dissolved dripping out the ears, just like the cartoons, it’s not funny, being alone, being crazy, am I? no I am working on this.
Do I talk to people? “as this? No.”
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