“ah,” Merle says, “you know .. I used to meet on money, I mean, I’m not saying I met for strippers or anything, but meet, how I’m dressed, how my face looks, if I’m happy about money, you know ‘I got it’ I’m not doing so bad, I’m not on the street, I’m not living in my car .. the papers, it becomes my blood a bit I guess, how I flow, how confident I am, it shows, you know ‘I’m a happening guy,’ or whatever the flubbed-up expression is, but with these papers then,” /and he has a few clear sheet protectors, sheets inside are they the original sheets? Or some, of his own, some prints from the book “i money earth” “art and papers and sadness” oh little art prints readers print some up and meet and try to get to the bottom of this what it is, try themselves, the vast amounts of meditation behind the book, and a sick mind, or a broken mind, stabilized, through much work, and is he a “seer”? does he “see”? what we cannot, been so banged around, but came through, luck of the draw I guess, and then these papers, stemming from a 90,000 page book yeah that long, spread over your computer enter different spots think about it a world
When our world well we do okay I guess preening and prancing in images do we get to without an image maybe on a meditation cushion, burn all the ego away, many hours, thousands of hours, cross 5,000 and keep going .. and life, just people driving round in their cars, and meeting for papers .. what is it money this time .. no is there a bit of room for art, out of the gallery, on our tables, in our hands, and our broken human self, acting, like they are as full as art, the human making great art – how do we relate to it, what are we, a distinct lack of art, how do you watch the drawings, for what you can do in yourself this time? how is it different? Oh, we hesitate, to get into the book, the many thousands of pages, oh, floating words, that stop in midair, done by skill, you can actually stop them in midair, actually stop them, not panic, live in them, as their mind, creating more words, or just hovering there, their body is the words the human said/ as they get more out of it, it used to be the sound just went from human mouth to the other human’s ear .. now stop, with wordplay, amazed look, confused, the mind falters, dimensions being exchanged/ ah you can say a little be confused be hopeful develop slowly slowly .. the mind canlt hamndke it “delicious” see someone skilled done thopusands of hours medistion had the life too cresrtuve in writing, papers, srt, drawig, sculpture, move on, tio this, crazy, broken, crime, dullsord, I am dull sordid/ we all are/, now can they creaste any more words, of theur own, or just hover there (can these new beings sctually feel theyr new life whst was firmally a humsn word ..), feeling lifem, feeling this new life./ do you grt it, we smi8le then it clicks off, gone
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It tajkes a lot of medistion, to survuvbe in thst wording context, be sbke to hsve the bsckground fir the new being, be able to sdurvuve as it, not shake and convulse feel like losing all beariungs in miond,. Hsve any if iots brain, mind, be aware, where it is now, it wo the floating beiog, helped by theh humsn, human say some of the words I ;ll stop[ here look are youi as little girl; 14 or ancient being in hiow you talk pray set this sail another part of your mind, at peace you couldbe a 53 year old man// oh get more of the book papers fvrom wrotiomg drawimngs from wringing it out ah the grind convincing sharing cloying bastard boring sure feel thousands of hours of the meditation now proffered in a different wayanother way// but dues any of our existence agree transfer into it no we can’t get it to work that they stop in midair I can barely see it I need more study and then it can then enlarge on it, see where if any develop it, into its try some more be whating./ what in sam hell
Oh, it takes a long time, to ctyal;;y survive/ actually survive as it the humsn “I’ll help I really want to do this see how I talk as the newe being” ni I’ll tugging it bsck “I wonly let you exust! I just wnlt let you! Evem though I want you to!” all of us sad over our current state people with “some semblance of a being inside” “can do the things” “I guess it could do a little bit more, I don’t know what”
And so it is/
give/
wha , it is one thig to wriote thuis here and abnybidy can resd it steal it copyright steal me no I fgive but the truye beig thst takes urasrs and tears/ years of prsctuce medustion invlvemeny/ is this a patentable being, “patently ridiculous” there you go/ can you help with ius, eric, ah I am very quiet/ those thst dinlt mediste, by vuewing, sittig with a person like me anyone who this, trying in many hours leaving life to go to places unkeptnip pernown but teyhered to earth like surtfing rope to ankle there yiu fo/ your own way ..
And exchamnge pasoers/ posers? papers?, draw, encoursge what you cant say sit silent humab mouth cant make anything mauybe new being/ from the book, feed it intio olur everyday society lurid, dyscuss, pop estaackre over, what was that repeast, can’t make sese of it even a second time/ say says what lesve alone, try sgain .. hiw it assimilates, raises hope dead humans so just rudging through love tired at the big try young been beaten any try love for real, becomes ..
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/so let me get this straight, this is nit money, it is nit some stte,pt to counterdeut momeny,/ oh our poor mom, I mother earth .. crying .. or up above .. sedate .. waiting .. for some crackpot human to come up with such things as this “ha thanks mom ha oof la I know well I do okay, you mom you don’t mean it” :yes I do eruc this is too much” “yeah perhaps you’re right” carry on .. slowly .. many details give some obscure or they are naturally obscure no way to say it over a million pages over a million years/ so carry your art, any foul half-assed effirt aoll can come to asrt class sure, with ameanig past art, sure/ we need to know “love in art was not really ever that good either” we need to go farther, accumulate gather all meaning so far, go farther/ all meaning of beig humsn hssvig nney bnuying art wjerher it be music print canvas dance troupe modern dance contemporary “art” “they say it’s good there” “is it” “I think I need to do something, just as a person” I need to quit watching art, or a little, to do my own, or more than my own, just join theirs, we all need to take another look, move farther / so thuis is nit an sttempt to do the fine lttle lines of money or take over the money system, nothiog to any ridiculous to me extemt like thst huge commotion c’mon this is just like the drawings I shiow “me” “each of us has a heart” so focused on this new thing get it across evolution impossible/ we show in galleries, a little, public galleries, places for thousands/ whst is thst the intyermet or just hug rrioims chairs fuir people sit with your bnder hsve another chair someiobne sit go over yoir binder with you, we also have lives in it, just sround tuwn, us, who you see, finally/ it is about art, small bits of art, or you can casrry with you, thst show your inodes, /unknown to make insides/ thst demonstrste out here there is something there*, thst you can shasre and it encursges you ti talk “is there something in you?” in a new past new way thst was never possibke before – humsns are just asbout dead, not able to talk while all the talking is done in pasintuigs dance me singing up writing BUT nopt on us .. it is very sad we hsve no us, getting ti the bottom of it, trying to kniw hiw we liplove, evem hsve the chajvce, nio movie love, nit art lovem, but where us .. developed some strange aloneness every possibility exhausted ti ecolve what say you now into the beig we really are .. take where life is niow and evippolve it and it duesmt seem its going amywhere farmme firtune celebrities who are sad too its all fake but we cant merge can t hmdfke it it is where uts at getting bigger uglier nithig we can give tio do .. because whst’s in us is too blur unavailable conbentional human consumer mind a blue wjjst possibilirs fir more are you a blur come here how do we live predict present day with unavailable hard devekliopment inside thety’re niot of this world. who whaty we are in there/ canlt contsct it I look st outworld its jusdt as it are, all the buyimg amnd selling too big all the investment houses games too big we are lost have no uop the ante included wez ius .. so let me see c srry papers to do with a strange silly huge book of a person crazy then medustong ti fund a new form of beig posdsibke
Ah it’s too much already here eric, take your papers, sad artist go to your fucking gallery don’t come at me
I’ve got a hockey game to watch or footmeball or anything fashiomn if im a lady her interest fashion social sick social fill
It is possibke ti develop it so sad we can developmbnithig tthings “we can’t get there, Eric. Please, don’t put this on us.” /are just going tio stsy as they are and I am too tired ti try
So let me get this strtaight we csrry srt has sdtrange connectuionb tio bioook and our “Could you just spell all this right now eric I know it illustrates our minds can’t form asnythg else upper level need meduistion break the go consuming humnsn go faster mind or see wjhst up ahead it’s fir nothing there our way/ ah I camn see your million psge book eryc you hsve dent accident dimne it fur what yiorself us but niw you need us .. for what c;mere baby sit” fefebelopmrnt but we keep psyig fuir sdtuff with money, this is not encroaching on that, money you stay, we’re just working on art portable meaningful enough/ mney stsys as it is, untouched, this is anoithr lvel of us, the more apt to smile not so stressed intelligent but not mean human being, if that’s even possible .. oh sit with me a bench “it’s a lit up page me isn’t it eric” “yes it’s a lot to think about goorpel wee” “yiou try ti say a litte then it just explodes want ti sau it it all, canlt, but it’s the only way “ “reel it in here, eryc” “rest who’s goorpel wee nothing just a word” “dud you gert enough acriss” “yes” …/ the more kind humnsn beig, or helping with s being fkstig in midair/ oh eric it’s too much right now, your mind flails anyone’s would trying to develop this/ you got in trouble didn’t you yes I did/ this is iffy I’m just trying to see how to exchange little bits of art that say “I’m here” but morever we give yes we have ourselves to give imn this way what weer dint k know yet are too unsure wuith/ there’s a blur inside we’ve just given up on “human is formed” and we’ve just given up on/ .. oh eric have a root beer have a cookie/ none left/ well … thst is nikt measireabke by cinvemntionasl means, this being/but it is not something quite traditionally imagined, its coordinates, it is just from here “in me”, but it is in each of us, nit a god, just our capabilirties the sound stop in midair mistake aboyt substance of wiord its form each and every humsn can make advances maybe it wasn’t a mistaler it gets to midair not our heads our ear boinbeing
Boring, go boring in, no it’s fine, you’re fine, anyone with me, tthis is too much to fevelop for us now humasmns in this state stasis. /So yeah pore iover thisd work on this blog stopped stasis see whst you think
Ah unsvailsbkle ti ft it in skirm,ish and mess of millions of we iswomanman words get scriss wht this is, cleasrly whst irt is?, you csrry a portfolio, you’re an srtust, easch of us, ah carry a stiff board don’t bend papers and talk to me career as new being, impossible on earth// sad, turn away from gall to spiralerues, sdtill do those what were those I dint get that, but look into life, look to exchange art and my face finished with esch other while tryig ti speak again or for the first time this crazy newpor way impossibke new poor way “guve me the real thing grammar punctuation yiou” “or have this as rude as powerful as lame thst is this is sounds, I can gibecel youir humsn, dirry guff give it more” so tired here ah we’re still around, eric, here youlre still here movie tio this move .. or art I can’t do give me the art in me a more fitting modified I can do .. I am possible
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/so the book, I money earth, handles great beginnings ah skirmish millions of words to become thios stop in midair as new being/ ah aeric lay off my brain hurts .. give me a rest here .. just talk about what a nice day it was out today .. sunshine I saw a little on back step I was spraying fixative on drawings that have pencil lead and could be smudged .. thst, oh stasrts small takes into account a strange life, a person not ble tio think, expoased to the blur, lsbeled as crazy / oh eric I told you I needed a rest, it comes to the point I might ditch you completely if you keep on like this ../.. masny yesrs .. “oh eryc whst you bneemn through, whst where cell..”exposed to the bl;ur
No..
yes
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Ah eric you do it well, I think that csrryig a small stiff pschajes of small drawgs evemn 8 ½ by 11 a stsdasrd size easily worljle on by common man and woman “you been through shit ertyc you beem through this for us, so we can walk around, carry this legally, engsge in this legally, the poor unavailable advamncem,ent of the human beig that we can never do” to buy a coffee sit wait for a friend, new friend? Show papers, I mean, it’s not money, it sells for money, it’s art, investments in art, just carry with you, and the art goes behind you, you emerge out front, a new being .. it is very hard to orchestrate the whole thing, the mistakes pitfalls places I’ve got in trouble before as I try to think this through forgive me splashing thoughts as I try to think this through/ and relasx nit take it too serioujsly/ firgrt my humsdn mind, strainig .. furgert it ..
As we all try tio think and break and say fucvk it and not be humans anymore either it through
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//
And relax tosstoo, medustion, emty ouit, dtop thiniking like s humsn,. Furget yourself, just rest
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Oh to just meet for papers ignored improper “ah me inside never knew what that was some fancy intellectual thought? or beyond me fancy educated young man or woman gets 17 years education in something, sounds like a prison sentence/ ah to now meet casually these papers maybe not even sell them, or for a pittance, exchange, but look at each other we know it’s important ‘the next step past art’ ah that’s a tough one/ bujt ti be asbkle to handke these psdgeas of misdsspellings jagged orrefulasr ‘not like we do it’ gives me a headache, or is this more than music, whatever new generation’s favourites, is this more?” “ah eric your book yeah thsnks fur guvig me a way ti hamdke it pop in every sio often in its hugeness take a page randim, draw abiout it, make drawig writigs take a shot at it small bit, then get out there in life meet other people on it this gruwig level of nbenesth inside us something there none of us hasd any can handle tume ftr any sbility fur handle irt our mind” “so you think this fits more or less” “Yeash it id the ubnavailanle outsidem outside of us even outside the edge of universe whatever is there,” she saus “it’s something we can take a l.ittle up on, past the way the story is going,l hujmsns painted on eklectrins abnd atoms, our visible stiry even thinkable story, by our minds, seems real, our semnses, touch taste all of it seems very real, its hsrd ti fthom whst a styiory like this outside og it, and ours would be fur, us looki8g, fur answers, in all pour tyrials that masy be only our story and goes nowhete our meabing may beb our bad patterns and failures gaschickenfrick something reading them, and then becoming this/ able but thst is psrt iof the stiry, and they dint cime thst easy
“is this then, this book, something for the brig outside of it all, to contsct us in the sdtiry by the meaning of words must stay the same but it has fgound niw, is this so toally duferent from everythg thst’s come befire it IT”S NIT EVEN HERE! .. and then everything just keeps steamrolling on by it or meant to, as it is, dbent ebem see thius, continues on as it is going
“yeas I think it is like thst yes yras
“but this still has an influence of course it foes niot here not us .. butr here
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I think the drawings and all of it it just cleans the palette you know, for the greater book ah even it’s not much of a shit did I say that right, but all of us on earth trying to explain as it swells swells evening shadows on the beach ocean lapping in, eeaves of waves edge of roof more use tumblimng off sailing parachuting ..
We’ve got to find a way to handle it all science religion going on about faith interest art sex all of it sawllig swe-jlling, us seat aubnsbke ti hsndke it complete us as a different berig trying ti gert ti easrth
Different being tryiong to get to earth
Through words
Drawinfs
Us
Speraking in this strange new way
All stops, words stop in midair, built foddil;/ sfossilsepryozoa / protozoawhat are they
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And the new being, to love, when we can’t love
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On our papers, money, plastic, art, some is moulded of plastic, galleries, vaunted, expensive, and us, poor, even the guy just bought a million dollar painting got it under his arm wrapped in brown paper there you go what does he say to anyone, all evolution in him the painting the money .. all evolution and no more
Carry on world, your posepurpose, this knioscks too, a little, on the side, not opaserrt of it all, in all of us/ not a part of it, as we “develop” “what we have found” this knocks on the dsde door od sich a grabd story, this as in the same words as the sdtory
Medustion sees it I have seen ityt all words body flesh ground this knocks on the side door of what we are, msybe you see it now too, a medystion qusluty ti thius, the bang0-asround too
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The medustion ended up good in the ebd, dynt it
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Could it be thst the words were the prtiozoa or beginnings or cellulsr ir true intemt?
And niw they struggke, my misspellings, but is this professional, is this all prifessionl?
Fur our true evolutuion, cant grt it/ canlt gert it, resd poor spell;ig funfers on cellphuine fingerprunts smuch words my mind is reasdy
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Thst I could maybe love now
As this new beig
I see it as entirely possible
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