“Ah I’m alright” Merle says to his good little friend, janey, ah fuck, things he says in his head says to her it’s just frustrating running a gallery or running an art show he doesn’t run the gallery he just postures says he’s the king of the gallery the uptown gallery all of them, hold court quash the others drunk pour alcohol on them their naked bodies the sexy ones ah do you live forever what the fuck is all of it .. in the midst of it .. yea .. in the midst of it .. who steps out .. not to abandon their career .. but tone it down a bit, be less conceited, ah hide all your insecurities be confident have cash no one can question you .. why slink away in the night, or in the day, to meet with Janey .. what does she know, sweet girl, don’t be rude to her don’t say “well I been beaten down by life I can feel the jackals at my door, why not tear apart this child, or no, hold it back you creep, bite your tongue, wear ordinary clothes an ordinary baseball cap, meet, no chauffeured Bentley, meet.
Who the heck does that, in midcareer, who steps out of their life, busy wall to wall, money meetings new shows spend time in the studio, spend time promoting, and this? What is this, a mid-life crisis? Questioning? This small child, bring me papers, from some guy that meditates, she doesn’t know, receives it over tapped computer, it is her papers, it is his papers, not clear, world, fiction, possibilities, anything happen, we’re all stuck, see things as we do.
So Janey I’m sorry about the other day.” “it’s okay.” They meet at his studio he called her up they walked by the canal a bit sat on a bench cool autumn weather but some sun, he apologized, he apologizes again .. you know, he has slips, he hates the world, it’s fucking hard. So he looks at her paper she brings today. “I like it” he says “it’s got good balance. Did you steal it from the guy?” “What? Eric?” “Do you know him?” “Sort of he doesn’t recognize me he doesn’t recognize any of us, I mean we don’t go to his front door he’s in some kind of fugue or something is that how you say that? But he’s been damaged. But he writes pretty damn good. And has these papers of ultimate freedom, they’re very playful. Considering the shit he’s been through.” “Hmm.” Merle looks at the paper. Sits with her. “Do you want a coffee?” “Sure.” So he makes her one, and they sit and talk. He’s glad he has this studio, away from it all, just not many drop by, secret studio, or dropped off the face of the earth, merle, merle jacket, merely a jacket, on a record, on a book, on a life, we all are, he listens to this young girl, prayer being, in his insanity. Let her live, Janey, ah let her live and flourish out there, young person, doing art, coming up through the ranks, found something strange, calls attention to her, give her a name, let her live, promote her, her want to express the prayer being, something from deep in strict chi kung meditation .. ah she lives, wants to know it, talking to her friends, sitting in a living room, chatting, having drinks. I mean, really “I don’t have the 3 hours a day, more” she says “to meditate.” Merle just looks. He understands. Glad he can grasp her this way. Hug her. Her meaning. People out there. On the street. In lives. Where is the prayer being, dare to see her, not drink, not high, dare to say her in regular dealings “can I say my prayer being?” do I even know how? Have tried, been stymied, dropped dead by friends, didn’t understand you, what the fuck? Prayer being with us, in fast food joints, restaurants, home, in the bathroom, in the shower, hey anywhere, poor thing, not so easy, created from deep meditation, wants a place in this life. To exist, not feel awkward, feel it out, say her words, one day, feel it out, just be “I’m living, I don’t seek for nothing, I just want to say my floating words.”
Whole book. Feed it in. To society. Other world. Standard magic, not magic, our creepy world face it do anything in it by its rules. Whether it be gravity finances clothes love, everything standard, held to it in reality. Do anything there.
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You can’t. Go see a movie, fucker.
No.
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This time we try here right where we are ah poor humans need another little being that can do it. Ah from the edge of the universe where nothing is real as we know it. Yes, that is actually happening. And here too? Little inferences, come around, little friend, in meditation, is she satisfied, go out to life?
Is this crazy?
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No, eric we leave comments love you baby you weird damaged finished human. Not finished yet. Hey today try to do some exercise, take a shower.
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We’re still here.
Listening. Watching. Hoping for you. Hoping for us too. This is in us.
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Yeah you don’t recognize us or odd arrangement we read your stolen book, stolen by the lovely Janis, stripper getting a bit older, looking for other line of work, likes to write herself, did she keep at it, it takes a long long time, to find your voice. In any of us. Go away, have a heap of trouble, fester, or develop.
The world stays put “never went away” but festers right where it is doesn’t develop is working churning, peace to be stunned stop dead rest breathe, then back to the churning heaving never this
Never this
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Meets the heaving churning “hi” to the thud thugs pretty girls accountants waitresses walking home this not on their mind never
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From samples someplace other than plates fries earth take out eat in .. developed .. here
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