when do we know more past secret, past new, past living

The drawing says “I don’t know a lot about life” oh who does who are you supposed to admit that to, right?  We have a hidden level, no starting on it, no grasping it into beginning words ..

Life ..

So here’s some writing from today, from offline.  Thank you.

We all just, oh I don’t know, how do you use communication we are capable of now “for this”?  We don’t know how it fits slight changes to enter the area the mind can’t think of.  When it stops being a painful wiped clean nothing will build there for this held back painful blank “something wants to build there”/ we can’t, it is not a stabbing pain or a headache pain it is just a regret, that area, not for us./ we can’t enter that area, only through gentleness many many years of meditation, the area opens up, and yet, to then communicate it to the hustle and bustle, which won’t stop, won’t realize this, they do, they look, they refuse, they sit, they cry with you, strange man, they cry with you.  Cry out, minds, lives, can’t see this./ once touched you know the place their hidden blank you are slow filling it getting them to accept it build their own the individual, only access to that in the quiet./ the individual the one being split into billions of individuals keep us going as well as it separate now what.  We like to sit, gently in a friendly way have this painful area opened up, it is not without work, on our part, or sail along, mystery hum, or oddness hum buzz tingle realization sail along./ we work in society wear in from our side these secrets beyond secrets, outside of any existence we were ever going to have./ weren’t going to live this, our livelong days./ it wasn’t there evolution intelligence university people faces how they hold them how they won’t open up hiding a mind attached to surface only thing they have left to hide while the rest is “gone.”  Anyone that tries is gone, insane, labeled, no one can go there, test, work competently, steadily, no it is CRAZY, do not go there/ make a life what is your research what is your persona IMPOSSIBLE/, stay within, your lovelittle mind, attached to diryougetsurface, attached to where youi get thimn world.  Hide, be scsred, hi8de in lsyers, obyscston/ obfuscation, thig uyou cant get to, canlt evemn undersand, why asre you hidig thst, hide thst too yes!, it glitems/ glistens d lsyers of puny and love humsn mind hude jusy under surfssce hde all thombuught hude everything influueced, unkniown mechmsm thrombosis pund pun is it a great reaillsecret is it meant ill ti be huddeb? Hubbubn hidde I dint kniw I canlt figure it lessiut.  I dint thnk only about it.  I cant gt to it.  Donlt you do you come hereundersdtamd?

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Sunday, October 13, 2013  9:45 am

Past the ends of our careers, past doing it “like it was supposed to be done” “or like it was capable to be done” the 2 arms 2 legs culture/ we shudder and apply, drsg and pick yp, all our lives, crime, no crime, endeavir,, scheme, legal, quasi-illegal, funabcial sector, street dealer sector, all the busy humsns, permutstions, types, everywhere, we do it, how the mony buys bread, a table, we psy rent, or a mortgsge, we are val;ued, while our value slips away, we donlt really know it .. never to work on it ../, while we carry around a secret, or past a bloodysecret, past whst we’re capsble of knowing, plese just a little bit? But it’s a strange sensation, all thst we do, all thsrt we think, is only one psrt og it, and irt is/ never steps out, from the flow of our inner thoughts of reality we never see it step out, as if it is allowed/ held distant, from whst really is .. does it come vusit, does it see a way, do we see a way, / the little words, slightly misspelled oh who has thst “skill” fnger hits wrog, there you go, tell us oh bloody “secret” we are living something else here, but what value does it have to people/so determined we are “our way is the only way” we are so blinded, but maybe it’s good, to putter along as we are, scream along as we are, power-slide along as we are … oh, all the various ways “all the dufferemt humsns” but none so differenntm enough do all this trigger it in all /, they would ctually hasve it, be capable of telling the whole truth/ oh man past our minds heads sit dowen talk express do arty give be a human/ while we sot terribly miserbly inside, can’t/ .. oh, meditstion, and a strange mind to begin with, as we all have, if we would sdmit it, explore it “no, never” we sit, all ages, like Merle of the big paintings, splashing, grest colour enfwoergy detail strange, do your best, “to be intelligemt rhere” merle, add the panache,,  truly “thinkig srtuist an elite level” wwhle in our livees .. and dos he have the gutsm, meet with Janey, speak of hus csreer loop poop, and sitting lonely “whst was it all fur?” not hang on to the cnceit, blowhssrd, hold court in a restaurant/ gather friendsaround a big table igf only a little butm csrved hus spot, his butt siots/ thst’s it “this is my spot” see me at head of table/ and Jney, oh, draws drawings, thinks she can interpret Eryc’’ss work, has a ststem of fruends, accquanfrotances, to draw, to experiment “we cannot canfeel it, the beings, tio be a prsyer beig furst,, what is she find detail, what is she from where we are live 2 arms 2 legs/and to speskfir her ti speak floating words then or unable, and fuir those to become a beig themselves her step her stage/ aah too mny stepas too inviolved wickill winki cute name for frustration/ unable to ser past our rushing gathering friends bering seen” I;m young why woyld UI want ti do this, you just live, life is fine and inescapable, or unavoidaabke, you just damnlive, I dint kniow how where this steps in, I cannot talk to ant y find him, or her ,. Some deeper sort, past secret new deep chastised cloying/ past it/ and merle, there you are, with your million about it, I dint even know merke, this isnlt even real, move on this, the knowledge pasty thinking it’s a secret, I canl;t even comprehend thst, hiw to move past ther bloodt secrets humans have to work ast it, hiw to majkee ir viable rt all.

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/endf’ snippet/ 10:05 am

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So that was some of tidays writing, and the first part, introduction, written halfwaytty to blog in a separate document, ah past “thank you” I wrote a bit more “halfway”/ to the blog/ that .. but yeah my one finger tyoing correct some words dd to other words creste get the feeling of it an understanding “words thst camt be said”  ever our minds handle more sort of asn abstract painting to words get more sublime peace at an ujpper lrevel;/ not just reptesrntastive/ ‘canlt be furmed” ‘even st this stsge” wordwode humsn “brittle lliance alliance toward stupid brilliance the stupiodest for all; the wrong rrasons, sure” ah hide it all hide evem whst you canlt hde, hide that too/ hide what’s not available to be hidden, hide that too/ .. ah sometimes I just want to let loose all misppe;ed you follow along resder rhthtms hills nature of opened up levels not created not even began with words faces humans/ this when there wasn’t much going through before the complete beig thsrt we canlt grt

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Oh in each little word more to it “in esch little person more to us” all the power to you stumbling along, some in fine suits, pretend you’re not dtumblinf along, tumble and scrstch and get rips and be happy/ here/ feel the money makes your life oksy, dlifmg along through rusds, expensive csrm,/ dulfiong? Sl;ifing through roads?/ misspell human picj up sense new sense/ but it cstches up to you it cstches up to us all/ age regret pompos popdered ltyle boy manon phone/ .. whst is t work on?  ou know thst question is asked. / askl any find meanimg extras dumb sbstract weords or extra smarty read more here see more/ In esch little word, perfect, smooth, thwsrted, held bsck, evemn with the fuybest / finest? Fubnnest?edcstin, fnest money, held basck, no one will say, the humsn opened up like these words opened up fsrther .. hiw does a humsn feel the presence of the little 14 yesr old prsyer beig, or millions of years old, amcient, slight,/ see her in esch misspelled words as they jump in yiour eyes woukld you ascceot her in a grin msn,/ grown man/ oo or gruiwn woman/ people/ sndrogynous, hiw do you sopeak in thsrt “like a word misspelled” “like a persn misspelled” you cannt do it/ her, little thing, sitting quietly in a restaurant, invisible, sitting with the others no one says no one dares add this to our usual life … add this .. this writing, forever .. .. gi fsrther .. like humsn eyes resd these words aned go let me step up and try no its too tall tale, fsrther with them, ah