janey and merle, two lovebirds, no, two paper lovebirds, what, a craft show or you bought it off the internet? Some finely done piece together glue cardboard paper paint pack carefully, light as a feather, thin hardly there at all, no I said no, it is not there, love, no matter how you reach it out, in so many words.
So I also wrote this, at home, as opposed to this blog, whatever that means, afraid to come out and speak, oh I speak to people during my day there is that, but not like this, I’m not saying I’m hiding and I’m a raving lunatic, it’s just the usual thing, modern times, electronics, blogs, danger, if you were followed once by the police, oh I don’t think they care much about me anymore, I’ve settled into this, I’m not leading teenagers around like some grand ringmaster, I actually did have a nervous breakdown, I’m recovering, slowly, and yeah, I did writing while I was doing that, and it was stolen, by the police, by janis, piggybacking, janis, the dancer at the downtown club, haven’t seen her in 10 years? 12 years now? but “she’s kept in touch” stole it, but you know people talk no other way, ah the internet and false claims of communication, you have to have some odd situation, ah Janis can feel me, I did hug her a few times, felt her backbone, the delicate little bones, it wasn’t really a “tit squeeze” or anything like that .. it was spiritual, strange, to find that with a person like her, /but she betrayed me in the end, but we still “keep in touch” like I say, for all of us, following this, keep in touch, despite our fast-moving lives, hey, getting a case of beer can be “fast-moving” ignore everything, zone out, move fast away from whatever it is you should be looking at – I don’t drink, I do my meditation.
This morning I started the magnification part, you stand there, visualize a big ball, like a big beach ball between your arms, they make a circle around it, your tips of fingers about 4 inches from each other, guy holds his hands near his lower abdomen, woman holds her hands higher up, solar plexus height .. and the ball of energy, begins to spin, a certain stance, eyes closed, it spins, huge energy enters you, and then you begin to move a bit, sway, move, raise foot off floor, move slowly out, then place down, slowly, slowly, try to understand .. other forces .. that meet this earth ..
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//so that part just there, was written halfway to internet I call up internet look at it, look at my site “imoneyearth” on the blog, ah, get the feel, something comes to me, my mind, ah, first off I did a drawing, so I’ll show you, then include some from offline, writing .. ah we have this huge book each person’s inner soul and then tentative ways “to get to life” but a blog “isn’t really getting to life now is it” and alas it is how it is .. the human circling, shy, doesn’t just come right up and say this, no one does ..
If they do, it’s not this, certainly not this.
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You come on with your earth face. What else/
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So here’s a little from earlier this afternoon, got back from my walk.
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“you were going to say something ..” ah the human being can feel comfortable with life, I went for a walk, sat at a few picnic benches along the way, or just walk, stopped once to sit, but you feel capable of talking about everything, then you get to a person and you say nothing, in your life, very little, we sure are glad for calendars with writing on them and newspapers if you still get them and just writing everywhere but no talking and who’s to say all the subjects of deep writers are anything at all, and so it is the peculiar human make a living stay safe though you may talk to no one, does a relative call, he makes the effort but still it is strained to talk at all once aware “there’s a lot of things need talking about” never get to them .. I’m very quiet .. I write a lot, or on a tape I might say things free-flowing, on a tape, alone in a room, but out front, oh, it’s like the blog you say nothing but nervous showmanship .. ah on such an important subject .. all this ..
We say a little in blogs are so nervous for life and here it’s a plain computer plain writing software program ..
We just write a little, does it get stolen, ah those people can’t talk this way, they talk their usual way, some nervous, some not, some that aren’t nervous, then are some days .. so it goes, the front .. you stand there with your body “you” not quite you .. so thank god the artists make paintings of sort of what we are inside show up with our bodies and faces don’t have it .. surely the artists made it through, exist in life ..
There are their paintings, and there are them, disconnected.
We feel full, capable, of talking about anything, by ourselves, in the park, taking in the sunshine.
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End of that writing there full on hiding inside or don’t put me down we all have a quiet place then come out on a blog, but in usual life yeah I show nothing don’t show I’m looking at you don’t show I’m thinking about you, I show nothing .. it’s all this .. no one takes me up on that .. no one knows .. we all walk around alone like this
And getting together find a girl sometimes get serious .. but not this .. she doesn’t say “leave it at the door” we just do leave it at the door
Does this get worked on during our lives? Oh here and there during the breaks
Maybe the breaks become more often and stretch out to where soon you’re doing this permanently and you like it
It’s a better life
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And yeah meeting for papers because you insist this is real
It is real.
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